Well, I’ll be damned. As if being a parent wasn’t hard enough – all you are ever, and will ever be met with is pure JUDGEMENT. Judging, judgy, judges who think they can judge you, constantly.
I call them – ‘The Parent Patrol‘ and they are completely and utterly, everywhere.
They criticise you on the clothes you wear, the hairstyle you’ve fixed, the lack of/or the ‘over caking’ of your make up, the clothes your child is wearing, the pacifier they own, the comforter they so tightly grasp, the condition of said comforter, the brand of bottle they’re drinking from, the brand of milk in said branded bottle, the amount of ounces in the bottle – the fact they’re even drinking from a bottle, the snug you chose to buy instead of the bumbo you should religiously own; because you know, it’s a bumbo.
NO. FUCK YOU. Who told you, you could judge me? I thought, when I became a Mum, i’d be part of this secret supportive society. Being a Mum is lonely, it’s strenuous, exhausting, emotional, exhilarating, demanding, draining. Basically, it’s hard work you know! The last thing I wanted, was for someone to criticise my means of parenting – when actually, all I’m dying to hear is
Good job A. He’s so happy. What a lovely baby. Love that little romper. Ooh have you tried?! I love seeing your pictures! Yeah that worked for me too, glad I’m not the only one lol!
I never once asked you to come at me for not breastfeeding – what if I couldn’t? What if I, like so many women, tried so damn hard that we were reduced to tears in our hospital beds on the Maternity Ward at 3AM feeling like failures because our babies wouldn’t latch, or our milk hadn’t come in yet and the clock was ticking because our baby needed feeding, or we just couldn’t grasp this whole ‘express into a cup’ business.
Why is it so easy for you to assume I didn’t try? Why is it your business anyway if I didn’t actually want to breastfeed?
I don’t care WHAT you’ve read, where you read it or if your Mums Sisters Brothers Girlfriends Cousin says babies that are breast fed have a higher IQ.. MY BABY IS FED, bottom line.
I never once asked you to come at me for the fact I chose to give my baby a pacifier – what if my baby wants to suck for comfort and I find myself wasting formula thinking it’s a feed he’s longing for because I’M A FIRST TIME MUM AND I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT I’M DOING?!
Why are you criticising me? Why is a dummy bad for my baby? Why is it your business anyway?
MY baby has now found comfort in something, thus resulting in his contentment, bottom line.
I never ever once asked you to come at me for the fact I want to wean my baby early, under the guidance of a Paediatric Dietician and my Health Visitor. If my baby shows me signs that he’s ready and he isn’t quite getting what he needs from 4 X 8OZ bottles of formula(which fluctuates 24/7 by the way), I will approach someone to discuss this, because it’s extremely important to me that my baby is happy and on the right track for his development and growth.
Why are you making me feel guilty for wanting to ensure my baby is full? Why is it your business anyway? My baby appears to be ready, my baby is being weaned at the rate he is comfortable being weaned at, thus resulting in, again, A WELL FED BABY, bottom line.
Why are we reading between the lines?
Why is it anyone elses’ business how we achieve our parenting goals?
Why do we have to assess the ways and means of them getting to those milestones both as parents and children?
Who said it was OK to make a Mother (whether she be a first time Mum or a 5TH time Mum) feel scrutinised?
Why are we ostracising each other?
We are quite literally, from the day our babies are born, in this together – there is no right or wrong way to parent, it’s basically, trial and error. What works for me, may not work for you, but if it does, I’m so happy to hear that because then if you have any questions – I’M HERE FOR YOU.
Hello, yes me, I’m here, judgement free babes! Tell me how shit your other half has been this evening, tell me how lazy you wish you could be, tell me you haven’t drank a hot coffee since the week you went into labour, tell me you wish you could wake up at 10AM and come downstairs and collapse onto your sofa to catch up on last nights Big Brother because you were too tired to watch it, tell me you’re dying for a ciggy but can’t find your head from your arse right now let alone your fag packet! You’re sick of Bridget Jones’ Diary panties, but you can’t be bothered for your arse to swallow a thong right now because you don’t have time to pull it out due to the fact you’re carrying a mad crazy heavy hair pulling 5MNTH old, right?! BABES, I feel you. My god, I feel you.
I don’t care if your bottles are from Poundland and your Comforter from Asda, my main concern is that your baby is fed, clean and happy and that you, as a Mother, are doing just fine! So let’s all enjoy our cold coffees and brews, with shitty unwashed baby sicky hair and Tuesdays t-shirts, together. Let’s NOT judge each other, let’s lend ears, advice, tips, tricks – anything
but not judgement.
We all have something in common now, we’re all fucking knackered, all of the time. So let’s save each other from one more heartache and upset, OK?
P.S. If you haven’t heard it today;
You’re an astounding Mother.
All my love, genuinely, always, A;
P.P.S, have a good, judgement free, day. You deserve it.
You can read more amazing blog posts from Amber Rowe over on her blog Me, You and Boo here.
- Many Faces of Mum - 6th January 2017
- FlatLay Fun [Week One] - 5th January 2017
- Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Experiment - 21st December 2016
- You Can’t Be Seen To Be Struggling.. - 15th December 2016
- I’m Not ALWAYS a One Woman Army - 11th December 2016
- 40 Facts About Becoming A Parent - 6th December 2016
- Dear Mum - 2nd December 2016
- My First Time Mum Fears - 29th November 2016
- It’s MY Post-Partum Body, Why Are YOU Ashamed Of It? - 19th November 2016
- I’m Still Me, But ‘Me’ Is A Mum Now… - 16th November 2016