Dear friends that I have and had,
There are a few things I’d like to clear up as best as possible, that have been weighing on me for some time now. The biggest one being this:
I’m still ME!
I’ve embarked on the biggest journey of my entire life, I’ve lost myself a few times in amongst the adjustments and chops/changes/sacrifices I’ve had to make – but I’ve found myself. The new, improved me, but I really am, still me.
Yes, I understand, it’s different for you now, but don’t forget; it’s different for me, too.
I’m boring because I won’t go out on the town and get off my absolute tits? I’m already off my tits with lack of sleep, I’m an absolute MOMBIE. Bring a bottle of rosé round, we’ll order the wildest Chinese you’ve ever seen and we’ll sit and laugh about all the shit we’ve both been up to recently.
I’m annoying because I forget to text back? Join the list of people my texts have neglected. If I’m not changing a nappy, washing bottles, forgetting to get chicken out the freezer to defrost in time for dinner, picking up endless bibs or tripping over toys so colourful you’d puke, you’ll find me doing jumping jacks in front of my Son in his Jumperoo just to catch a smile.
How’s about you phone me? I can always put you on speaker and take you round the house to do my chores with me.
You feel neglected? Christ, you should see my hair; this morning’s breakfast, last nights dinner and last week’s regurgitated milk is in there somewhere.
I can’t help that – all I can do is say I’m sorry and promise you, my door is always open and you’re more than welcome to walk in at any given time and have an adult conversation with me!
It sucks – thinking that before I had my baby, I had so many of you to turn to, you all served different purposes in my life – a shoulder to cry on, a voice to pick me up, the banter Queen that would turn my frown upside down, the annoying one that tagged me in pictures all over Facebook 24/7. You were all, the best ‘friends’ I could have wished for.
Now? Well, shoutout to all 2 of you, for still sticking around.
Sometimes when you sit there and talk about the dress and heels you wore Saturday night, I think “Shit, I had that once”… and I get so jealous. I miss those parts of my life, that care free/spontaneous fun aspect, but the one I’ve got now? I wouldn’t give up for the world – and I’m happy that YOUR happy; but it’d make me happier to know you still liked the me that I’ve always been.
I don’t get it because this is the best version of me. I’m not me to just you anymore, I’m me to my baby too. So the only changes are;
- Someone else depends on me, alongside you.
- I wear a bun so greasy you could cook a pizza off my hair.
- I’ve always got ‘yesterdays’ t-shirt on.
- I have a different smell, it’s usually the smell of stale milk and sour puke.
- I’ve got a mini best friend that’s with me, pretty much everywhere.
- My new favourite song in the ‘charts’ is the Jumperoo theme tune – I’ve heard it in a song, I swear down.
- I give even better cuddles than I did before
- I’m 99.9% sure if you needed me to, I could rock you to sleep.
- I’ve got the best fucking punchlines ever, listen to this:
You wanna’ hear a joke about fog? I mist.
Seriously – I’m still me,
I’m just the MUM ME.
The best ME I could ever wish to be.
One day, I hope you are too!
So for now, i’ll leave you with this;
When you’re the MUM version of YOU, I’ll be right here, for YOU too.
All my love, as always, A.
Instagram : @missr0we (with a zero)
This post was written exclusively for Bump, Baby and You, by Amber Rowe.
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