Some days, I wake up and put my war paint on so I’m good to go,
Other days I feel like a failure before my feet touch the floor –
I’m not always ready for what the day has in store,
Which is why I’m not sure I can be a ‘One Woman Army’ anymore.

I’m tired of doing it all by myself;
I didn’t set out to take the biggest journey of my life, alone
Sometimes I blankly stare at my phone – hoping someone will say;
I’m coming round even if you say ‘no’.

Those days don’t come, they just simply go
My week becomes a re-run of the weeks that came months before.
That’s OK, it’s part of my life
But can we have a nice, tight hug once you walk through the door?

I’m not sure if i’m just too pig headed / stubborn
That I forgot to tell you that time I cried,
I don’t know if it’s more help I need, or just some time.
Some time with you, to laugh;

To talk
To be held.
To smile
To cry.

To really get this off my chest –
So my head is less of a mess.
I appreciate you, all of you, the whole of you,
For each and every little thing you do

I also know you’re tired – you tell me every day
Which feels like a warning, to keep my “please can you”s at bay.
That’s absolutely fine, I get tired too
But I won’t answer your “babe can you”s, with ‘go away’s.

It’s a never ending day – it never ends until I’m in bed,
Even then my mind is in overdrive,
9 times out of 10 the day plays back in my head
And I wonder if I could have been better / or could have done more

Which can leave me feeling broken and unsure.
I just want to be the best for the both of you,
Whilst you’re out trying to give us the world –
I’m at home hoping you’ll give me more of you.

Hope is a great word
It’s optimistic
Understood even if you’re multi linguistic
It resonates, wherever, with whoever and however it’s used

So I hope when you read this, it comes through,
I’d like a bit of help – but I’d also like some more of you.
It’ll make me better and 100% happier
Certainly if anything, a lot less snappier.

I want us to be a team,
I want a happy you and a happy me, not just for us
But for our beautiful boy too ;
We were raised surrounded by happiness,

So can we go back and find our happiness too?
You’re my fairytale,
You’re all of my dreams come true
And I’d be 100% lost without you..

I don’t want to be a one woman army,
I want to be a team
So how about it?
Me + You and our happy little Boo.

I absolutely love you, to infinity times infinity.

All my love, always, A. XO

This post was written exclusively for Bump, Baby and You, by Amber Rowe. 

About Amber Rowe

HIYA! I'm Amber, 21 and a first time Mum to my Preemie, Oscar! I'm a natural born chatter box - completely open minded and I say what I mean and I mean what I say. A complete fan of the F Bomb! (Used regularly though, be warned!) There is absolutely nothing I will not talk about. I genuinely love the English language, words fascinate me - it's allowed me to become an advocate for normalising the 'negatives' in Motherhood. I'm obsessed with flat lays (buying cute clothes and laying them out to make a complete outfit) and I'm also a huge lover of anything social media! You can follow mine and my little Bears antics here, there and everywhere! Hope you enjoy my posts as much as I enjoy you reading them! 👋🏼💕 Instagram: @missr0we Snapchat: missr0we