Some days, I wake up and put my war paint on so I’m good to go,
Other days I feel like a failure before my feet touch the floor –
I’m not always ready for what the day has in store,
Which is why I’m not sure I can be a ‘One Woman Army’ anymore.
I’m tired of doing it all by myself;
I didn’t set out to take the biggest journey of my life, alone
Sometimes I blankly stare at my phone – hoping someone will say;
I’m coming round even if you say ‘no’.
Those days don’t come, they just simply go
My week becomes a re-run of the weeks that came months before.
That’s OK, it’s part of my life
But can we have a nice, tight hug once you walk through the door?
I’m not sure if i’m just too pig headed / stubborn
That I forgot to tell you that time I cried,
I don’t know if it’s more help I need, or just some time.
Some time with you, to laugh;
To be held.
To really get this off my chest –
So my head is less of a mess.
I appreciate you, all of you, the whole of you,
For each and every little thing you do
I also know you’re tired – you tell me every day
Which feels like a warning, to keep my “please can you”s at bay.
That’s absolutely fine, I get tired too
But I won’t answer your “babe can you”s, with ‘go away’s.
It’s a never ending day – it never ends until I’m in bed,
Even then my mind is in overdrive,
9 times out of 10 the day plays back in my head
And I wonder if I could have been better / or could have done more
Which can leave me feeling broken and unsure.
I just want to be the best for the both of you,
Whilst you’re out trying to give us the world –
I’m at home hoping you’ll give me more of you.
Hope is a great word
Understood even if you’re multi linguistic
It resonates, wherever, with whoever and however it’s used
So I hope when you read this, it comes through,
I’d like a bit of help – but I’d also like some more of you.
It’ll make me better and 100% happier
Certainly if anything, a lot less snappier.
I want us to be a team,
I want a happy you and a happy me, not just for us
But for our beautiful boy too ;
We were raised surrounded by happiness,
So can we go back and find our happiness too?
You’re my fairytale,
You’re all of my dreams come true
And I’d be 100% lost without you..
I don’t want to be a one woman army,
I want to be a team
So how about it?
Me + You and our happy little Boo.
I absolutely love you, to infinity times infinity.
All my love, always, A.
This post was written exclusively for Bump, Baby and You, by Amber Rowe.
- Many Faces of Mum - 6th January 2017
- FlatLay Fun [Week One] - 5th January 2017
- Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Experiment - 21st December 2016
- You Can’t Be Seen To Be Struggling.. - 15th December 2016
- I’m Not ALWAYS a One Woman Army - 11th December 2016
- 40 Facts About Becoming A Parent - 6th December 2016
- Dear Mum - 2nd December 2016
- My First Time Mum Fears - 29th November 2016
- It’s MY Post-Partum Body, Why Are YOU Ashamed Of It? - 19th November 2016
- I’m Still Me, But ‘Me’ Is A Mum Now… - 16th November 2016