I watched this video that Channel 4 recently posted, about Mothers’ take on the Loneliness of becoming a Mother; and it’s just resonated on a whole new level.
“You can’t be seen to be struggling”.
That in itself IS the problem, why can’t you be seen to be struggling? Is that what makes us lonelier? We don’t want to go out because we don’t want to be seen to ‘not be coping’? Why is there a ‘Perfect Parent’ stigma? What twatwaffle created that stigma?
• these should NOT be every day questions.
Motherhood is hard.
It’s only today me and my friend Becky were discussing this.. I’m not ashamed to put my Son down when he’s screaming and I’m starting to lose my shit – as long as he’s safely secured wherever he is and he isn’t in harms way, I can go and take a breath / scream in to a pillow / have a drink and come back again with a clear mind.
It is far from a breeze.
They do not come with manuals, it can be very intense. You’re constantly being given unwanted advice that can feel extremely overwhelming – if you’re breastfeeding it’s great but shouldn’t be done in public, if you’re bottle feeding you’re not benefiting your child because breast is best, dummies lead to crooked teeth and sucking a thumb is EVEN worse, don’t start on me comforters ….. STOP.
Let’s Parent our own individual ways and be PROUD of the fact we’re not just winging it, but we’re SUCCESSFULLY winging it. Let’s share tips instead, in the hopes they work for someone else?
We’re getting there, but with the highs come the lows and no one should make you feel ashamed of them.
Sometimes, you feel like a failure
Sometimes, you wish your fella would come home early
Sometimes, you’re trapped between 4 walls
Sometimes, you only wear pyjamas for a week
Sometimes, you’re too tired to wash regurgitated milk out of your hair
Sometimes, you’ve cried more than your baby
Sometimes, you question your mindframe, is it PND or is it a bad week?
Sometimes, you want another baby – then other times, one is more than enough
And the one that hurts? Sometimes, even your friends can make you feel like an outcast
BUT that’s completely OK! It’s NORMAL. LET’S NORMALISE THE NEGATIVES!
Speak out. Do not admit defeat. Be proud of your struggles because they are in turn, your successes. Communicate. Laugh. Take tantrum photos as well as smiley photos. Sit. Play. LOVE. Be proud. Make light of the bad days, do not shun them, acknowledge them and chalk them up to experience. Never wonder why other peoples grass appears greener, I’ll tell you a secret… It appears greener because it’s fertilised with bullshit!
Normalise the negatives.
All my love, always, A.
This post was written exclusively for Bump, Baby and You, by Amber Rowe.
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- I’m Not ALWAYS a One Woman Army - 11th December 2016
- 40 Facts About Becoming A Parent - 6th December 2016
- Dear Mum - 2nd December 2016
- My First Time Mum Fears - 29th November 2016
- It’s MY Post-Partum Body, Why Are YOU Ashamed Of It? - 19th November 2016
- I’m Still Me, But ‘Me’ Is A Mum Now… - 16th November 2016