As a first time Mummy, from the second I found out I was pregnant, there were so many times I thought “I really wish someone would have told me that“.

I knew nothing except what I was told or what I found on the internet. So I wanted to share with you all a few of the things nobody tells you about pregnancy & birth.

You don’t get told how in some cases, finding out you are pregnant isn’t all happiness and joy. At some point when you receive that amazing news, you will have a moment when you doubt everything.”Will I be good enough?” “How will we cope” “What about money”

You WILL be good enough, you WILL cope and money WILL be fine. You do whatever you can to ensure the best for yourself and your baby, but this is still life changing news! It’s OK to feel a bit of an initial panic.


For the Partners – you don’t get told how your lovely wife, girlfriend or partner is about to turn into the most emotional and sensitive person you’ve ever met. She may cry when you sneeze or when you buy her the wrong chocolate bar and she may laugh at the craziest things but all these hormone changes will be worth it.

That if you get ‘morning sickness’ it doesn’t just happen in the morning! It can be at 10pm and it can be on your journey back from work (I always used to get caught going to and from work!) All I can say is BE PREPARED!

Wetting yourself – no one prepares you for this. It isn’t something to be ashamed of, it happens to a lot of people and it may well happen after birth too. Pelvic floor exercises after birth worked wonders for me – I had to have stitches too!

Your dignity goes out the window. There will be random people stood there while you are wandering around half-naked or lay on the bed with your legs in the air (I did both, all that mattered to me was getting my baby out safe and sound)

Bleeding/Clots after natural birth – I was never told the extent of this, I was under the impression that you bled while giving birth and maybe period like bleeding for a day or two after. Oh how I was wrong. Heavy bleeding and clotting is normal (stock up on maternity pads!!) but if you have any concern contact your GP or Midwife.

Breastfeeding or letting your milk dry – Of course you are told “breast is best” but you aren’t told how hard breastfeeding can be for some women. It’s far from easy and some mothers choose not to do it. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work out.

We tried, we managed 3 weeks but he wasn’t gaining weight and became a concern so bottle feeding was the only option. I was told my milk would just dry out when my body realised by baby wasn’t feeding anymore. It isn’t that simple. They don’t prepare you for your breasts to fill to the point that they look and feel like rocks. They don’t tell you the pain that you’ll feel until your body realises that you don’t need it. It’s especially hard having that pain while having a newborn baby.

How lonely you can feel – you expect to be surrounded by lots of people. You expect to always be feeling a certain way because you have this beautiful baby, but that’s not always the case. People do turn up when your baby arrives and they stick around for a while but the novelty wears off. I remember sitting in a room full of people and still feeling completely alone. Because no one understands the way you feel and how this experience has changed you.
I remember feeling like I wasn’t “me” anymore but I was, I just went through probably the biggest change of my life.

The biggest thing that I thought “I wish someone had told me about this” was the hair loss. I have cried countless times about this and had many discussions with my GP. I never ever heard anyone mention anything about losing hair, so when my hair started falling out in clumps I panicked and I cried. I thought there was something wrong with me, but it was just something I was never told about. It is SO common and so many woman aren’t told about it. It’s completely normal, it happens for a while after giving birth but a lot of it does grow back. My little boy, Joshua is now 8 months old and I’ve noticed a lot of small hairs growing back where I lost it after birth.

Despite the things that you are told that you don’t find useful, the things you find out for yourself and the things you wish someone would have told you. Babies are a blessing. It’s life changing and you can never fully prepare yourself but you will never feel unconditional love like you do when you have your baby.

Christina X

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