10 Random Reasons Why My Toddler Tantrumed Today...

Max is two in less than a month, and boy oh boy, he is most definitely living up to the ‘terrible twos’ stereotype!

Here are ten minor and totally random reasons why he decided to meltdown today…

Reason One: I wouldn’t let him put my mobile phone in the washing basket containing sopping wet laundry. This resulted in my phone being thrown and him roaring like a banshee for 10 minutes.

Reason Two: I dared to offer him scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast. Such a bad mummy… the eggs went uneaten, and were then flicked at mummy in frustration.

Reason Three: I put the TV remote out of his reach and wouldn’t allow him to pull me by the finger to get it for him. This went on repeatedly throughout the duration of the day, interrupted only by me putting on the Crazy Frog music video as a distraction technique.

Reason Four: I dared to call him in from the garden for nap time. My neighbours must think I am some sort of monster.

Reason Five: His squash wasn’t cold enough. When King Max isn’t impressed with the refreshments offered, he likes to throw his sippy cup. At his parents. HARD. Ouch!

Reason Six: I dared make him lie down so that I could change his sulphuric, stanky-ass nappy. It was like wrestling with a psychotic, screeching squid that had rolled in something foul…

Reason Seven: Daddy went upstairs to get changed after work… you’d have thought the world was bloody ending!

Reason Eight: I went for a wee, and Max was extremely offended that I was doing that instead of letting him open the study door so that he could get into mischief with daddy’s very expensive electronics. Erm, no, child.

Reason Nine: He was falling asleep in his cot upstairs and smelled our dinner wafting out of the kitchen… of course, he needed to share it with us (despite having being fed)!

Reason Ten: We dared to put him back down to bed after sharing our dinner with us at HALF BLOODY NINE. How dare we!

Can anyone else relate to these? Please tell me I’m not alone! Pass me the wine…