A toddler and a bump!

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💛Hello and welcome to my blog💛

I’m Steph and this little bundle of joy is called Izzy who was born March 2016 – we have another one on its way and we have left it as a surprise to find out what we are having.

I have decided to write a blog to talk/connect with others who have a baby born slightly differently. At my 20 week scan, the sonographer noticed that the left foot hadn’t developed properly. It looks like the big toe is there but not the other 4 digits and some of the foot.

Although this is not the worst thing (I know there are many worse things out there being a NICU nurse) I was devastated. I felt like I had done something, had a missed a sign? did it happen when I fainted? had I been drinking too much caffeine? what had I done? … the truth is, I had done nothing but I still felt so guilty.

We went to St. Georges hospital and were scanned again from head to toe. I know they were looking to rule out any cardiac, renal, spinal, brain problems and any midline changes such as a cleft lip. Luckily we were told there is nothing else. The probable reason for the foot not developing is that my placenta threw a clot and where that clot ended up nothing grew from that point on. Hearing this I felt extremely lucky that we actually had a baby as that clot could have ended up anywhere. 

I must admit it still hasn’t completely sunk in but I am getting there. I prefer to deal with problems head on. Waiting until this baby is born to see what the foots like and what needs to be done is the hardest part.

8 weeks on and I actually feel like I’m bonding with my baby. I’ m starting to enjoy feeling the hiccups and taking note of its little routine. I know I will love this baby and the foot is such a small part of its identity, however on a bad day it feels like it could be its whole identity – Usually when I think to far into the future and worry about school bullying and how hard it is to be a kid with ten fingers and ten toes, let alone one with ten fingers and 6 toes!

I’m in an extremely lucky position and have A LOT of support from friends and family, but also from my work. My colleagues who I have told, have been so good and supportive and have given me so much personal and professional advice. It helps knowing one of my team will come and see baby for its baby check.

Anyway I’m sure the foot will be the least of my worries with a newborn and a two year old! Izzy was such an easy baby and so far has been a pretty easy toddler. We have entered the tantrum phase, but it hasn’t been that bad. The world of disciplining is confusing but we are muddling through. Most of the time she is a cheeky, funny, active little girl. She loves eating and the other night was dreaming about cake and looking in her cot for it 😂. We also enjoy a dance session when we are cooking dinner. Mummy and Daddy usually have to have a little boogie whilst having our food. 

If you have made it this far – Thank you! any advice or stories would be fab. At the moment (as far as I’m aware) I don’t know anyone who has had anything picked up on a scan or has a child with missing bits. It would be great to hear some stories and be pointed in the right direction for any information 😀. I have been given some information for REACH, I’ m not ready to look through here yet but I like to have a collection of information for when I’ m ready.

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