We Need To Talk About The Weather

Down the beach last week

To complain about the weather is very British and we are in the middle of what other humans call summer.

I’m Welsh, so summer is usually a few days in May or June, then rain. Or the threat of rain. This is pretty much all seasons in Wales are like that.

Except now we’re in the middle of this heatwave and we’re just not ready for it. Or any extreme weather. The only extreme weather Brits can really handle is extreme dullness. There is a tweet going around about how we don’t have air conditioning so our homes are just sweat boxes. And it’s true, I don’t know anyone with air con. Most of us don’t even have fans, to be honest until something like this happens and we hit Argos up for the cheapest one we can buy; usually, they break or we lose them before the next heat wave hits.

Roads are melting and every white person has some sunburn.  The cats are baking themselves in my garden and should be cooked through any day now…

Everyone that comes into the pharmacy all goes “It’s nice in here,” cause we have the air con set at 19 degrees. Every single person. And yet my pharmacist is cold…

There’s more to it than that. The kids are really suffering.

Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children

Done with church, done with trousers.

Maybe not the older ones, my street is full of kids in swim togs running from paddling pool to paddling pool; in bare feet on hot tarmac complaining the entire time. They seem to be okay, but the babies and toddlers are really suffering right now.

One neighbour had a baby who’s a couple of months old and Snappy was born in this same heat. It was hard to get him to stay awake long enough to feed. We had to wake him for every feed because it was just too damn hot for him. My knock-off Lloyds Pharmacy gro-egg thermometer was red for a month.

Snappy is always naked right now – followers of my instagram and facebook will already be aware of this. We dress him to leave the house but at home, he is naked all the time. It’s just the only way he can be cool enough. We’re lucky because he will drink a lot of water (mostly stealing it off us) but he definitely suffering. Last night he was so unsettled he was gone nine before he fell to sleep and eventually fell out of his bed (he moved into the bed last month but I’ve yet to post about it). There are days where he’s just super ratty cause it’s too hot to sleep properly, too hot to be a toddler and so he just doesn’t want to do anything.

My other neighbours have a boy a month younger than Snappy who is suffering from serious toddleristis right now. He’s too hot. His house is too hot, the sun is too bright and he has to wear a nappy or clothes or suncream.

Ten Tips For Cool Toddlers

The shade of it all.

So, here are a few tips for keeping those toddlers cool and those babies happy.

  1. Lots of fruits and food with high water content.
  2. Crack the squash out – even a little on some water will make it more interesting. Jugs of water in the fridge.
  3. Ditch the clothes. Let those goobers be naked. If need be, get some old sheets and towels down and start the potty training.
  4. Stay out the sun between 11-3. To be honest, stay out the sun between when it rises and when it sets.
  5. Factor 30 or 50. Nothing lower for kids.
  6. Blowing on babies tends to wake them up for a feed.
  7. Electronics heat a room up. The fish tank was a good idea but it’s not helping in Snappy’s room.
  8. Windows open. All of them, front and back to encourage air flow.
  9. Sleep downstairs if you need to. Heat rises.
  10. Set a beach umbrella or windbreaker up around the paddling pool so they can enjoy the water in the shade (and then use that water on your sad, sad plants).

Hopefully, this will help a little over the summer. There’s obviously fans, water spraying thingys and air conditioning but I’m not big on using any more energy than I have too.

Take care everyone.

Written by Ren Skalka for Queer Little Family.

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