Mums are usually seen as the glue that holds the family together. They are very often the ones that provide the meals, they do the washing, clean the house and somehow some even manage to hold down a job. How is that even possible?
Mamas I support ya! 🙌🏻
But what about the dads? The family dynamics are so widespread in the 21st Century. From same-sex couples, single-parent families and step parent families.
When I ask why are dads important I’m not just implying the birth father. Anyone can lay down and make the baby. What I mean is, the male role model that the children look up to. They are very often overlooked and downgraded. Marked down because they aren’t the ones who get the 6 month maternity leave. They are stigmatised as being emotionless and the disciplinarian. The breadwinner. Dads are so much more than that and are now, more than ever, taking a more active role in their children’s lives. Maybe this is down to more mums going back to work after having children. Maybe the dad’s are just beating through the stigma and staying home. It doesn’t matter, it is great to hear all round surely!
I am very lucky. Both my children have active dad’s in their lives. I am not with my eldest’s dad but I am with my other sons dad so I can see the coin from two sides. I have also been a single mum in the time between separating with Korey’s dad and meeting my partner.
My eldest looks forward to seeing his dad and will spend one week twice a year with his dad to spend solid time with his dad during holidays between school.
But both my sons have regular contact with my partner. They have a male role model who lives with us, it doesn’t matter if he’s blood or not, he is still a solid male role model.
But why are they so important?
I have done some research and picked out a few points that I found most compelling:
- Fun- Dads play with children differently, while mums will probably have more of an aim and structure, dad’s are more free flow and tend to rough house.
- For balance- children who have more than one parent will get different opinions and view points on life. Having parents with different strengths help children to grow more rounded.
- To understand men and the role a man plays within the family- children only learn about men by being around men. This can be anything from the tendencies to provide and protect the family to hugging the children and doing the housework.
- Children who have good relationships tend to become more stable as adults and well rounded with their own spouses and children as they grow.
- Boys will learn by their dad’s how to be dad’s themselves as well as girls looking for the guy who resembles her dad as she grows up.
I think it’s great that dad’s have an active role in the kids lives rather than packing them up to bed as soon as they are back from work.
I didn’t have a very good relationship with my dad growing up and I can see the damage that that did for me growing up. Missing something, feeling nothing but rejection. But I am proud that my own children won’t feel that rejection and hopefully will see for themselves the importance of having their dad around and what that meant for them.