There are lots of things that as a Father that you have to learn about your child, VERY quickly but then its like a massive overload on information and knowledge.
As the mother to my kids, Megs knew most things due to having an older sister with children so was there for them growing up and knew a lot of the stuff as well. So it was nice to have a teacher as well as learning about things to do on my own by searching the web and reading books. It seems that a lot of Advice have been given to mums about everything because…well, they are going through the 9 months of, lets face it, HELL. But what about us dads?
1. The Baby Needs You Too
Apart from providing safety, comfort, love and of course happiness, which we as fathers can always provide. While with my kids the bond with Megs was unbreakable and it was incredible to see and witness it everyday. But one thing I can admit to you guys and girls now is that I wasn’t confident in what I was doing as a father to start with and yes I relied on Megs doing almost everything when Fin was tiny. And with Jax I was completely different I helped more without being told or asked because I knew what I was doing
2. Nappies… they can be tricky
To say that your first few nappies as a new father are going to be delightful then I’m sorry you are reading this all wrong, they are going to be tough, weird and wonderful colours. Just wait for it, I’m not going to spoil anyone’s fun!
3. Romantic Side of things
Your sex life won’t suffer, it will come back. Just takes time on both parts of the relationship. Although you both will be super tired on the early days, if you help your missus get back to strength from everything that has happened over the last 9 months and birth. As I stated above help out, it will mean the world to her.
4. Slow Down and take your time
There isn’t a special switch that you can turn on as a new Dad, its not in the man draw next to the wires you have collected over the last few years. While some fathers fall in love with their offspring the instant they see eyes, other find it scary as hell, which I did, that feeling of overwhelming and apprehension. And i’ll say this, that is absolutley fine! It happens to everyone and truthfully it happens to mothers too. Post natal Depression is a big thing with new mothers so remember that as well. Sometimes the bonds are instant but sometimes it takes time, either way you have a long time to get that bond as your offspring. Doing my research it shows that it can take 2-3 months for new dads to feel that “attached” so there is nothing to worry about.
5. Trust Yourself
Mothers seem like they are natural parents and in Megs that was very apparent. She took to it like a fish in water and there was me doing the complete opposite, she was in her element and I was watching in amazement how incredibly good she was at it. But honestly winging it is going to be what happens to the majority of times with being a new dad left alone while the mother sleeps, washes or even going to the bathroom on their own. Megs took the lead on most things with Fin but don’t be afraid to take over or even just try helping out or trying without supervision, you get it wrong then you get it wrong trust me you will have plenty of nappies to change so you will get it don’t worry. A winning combo to this is happy mummy, happy baby. You will get bonding time with the baby and brownie points to the missus. Everyone wins, maybe even crack open a beer. As a dad you are programmed to protect so TRUST your instincts.
6. Asking for HELP is ok…
Your parents have been there done it with you and or your siblings so asking for their advice or for them to help can be done, they probably asked their parents for advice and help the same as you are doing or thinking about. Also the relationship between you and you parents (and in-laws) will change. They are Grandparents and they will come in useful. And when or if they ever offer to help then its ok to say Yes.
7. Keep Your Chest Hair Covered…
Dont believe me, then speak to me when your baby has grabbed it and not let go for a while or for that instinct pulling your beard…that is what I can imagine giving birth to feel like… (I know women reading this will be like, NO IT’S NOT ANYTHING LIKE IT! I know its going for a joke, Me and Megs both have agreed that if it was down to men to give birth the Human race would stop! So babies pull things that are within reach. Sometimes those things are attached to you. Pain is a wonderful thing as a father of a beard and being quite hairy. Seriously though if you remember any of this advice I’m giving you in this blog please let it be the last one!
Thank you for reading, Until next time.
The Hairy Father