Kate Lawler in ‘darkest place’ says ‘Newborn days are not what I thought they’d be.’ | Bump, Baby and You
Home Celebrity Stories Kate Lawler in ‘darkest place’ says ‘Newborn days are not what I thought they’d be.’

Kate Lawler in ‘darkest place’ says ‘Newborn days are not what I thought they’d be.’

by Kloe Forster

We salute new mum, Kate Lawler, who has opened up about her struggles with adjusting to life with her newborn daugher Noa.

Kate has faced intense criticism after sharing a photograph of her two beloved dogs on Mother’s Day.

In the adorable post of her pooches she said: ‘It’s not my first Mother’s Day. It’s my 11th. Being a dog mum is the best thing in the world.’

Sadly the entire instagram community didn’t seem to appreciate Kate’s post. She said she received ‘horrible’ ‘hurtful and abusive’ comments.

Kate took matters into her own hands and shared a lengthy response in which she opened up about her journey into motherhood.

We can’t praise Kate enough for her honesty. We’re sure there will be plenty of other new mums out there who can relate.

Kate defended her decision not to post a photo of her and Noa on mother’s day because she knows ‘how tough it can be for those who’ve lost their mum/child to see photos flooding their feeds of kids with their mums on Mother’s Day. As well as those struggling with fertility issues.’

In her lengthy statement Kate wrote: “I wanted to address a recent post which has resulted in some extremely hurtful and abusive comments. On Mother’s Day I shared a photo of Baxter and Shirley. Nearly everyone reading this understands just how much I cherish my two doggies.  They are family members and before my daughter was born featured heavily on my instagram feed/stories. So on Mother’s Day I shared a photo of them, as I do every Mother’s Day and some of the comments are horrible.

I don’t even know where to begin. 17 out of the last 20 posts on my instagram feed have been about my daughter. Not one of them is negative about Noa, or a complaint about her. I’ve done a few stories sharing the highs and lows because that’s the truth.

Stop thinking that if you don’t post a photo with your daughter/mum on social media for Mother’s Day you can’t possibly love them.

Posting or not posting a photo in no way defines how you feel about someone.

Insta is a snapshot of our lives. We do not see the whole picture. People post about how happy they are in relationships, when they’re not. Others post how much they’re enjoying a holiday, when they’re not.

But I’m as honest as I can be on here because it’s what feels right for ME. When I’m having a shitty day, it might make someone else feel better about the fact they’re going through the same thing if I share it.

My Instagram ‘follower’s are more of a friendship group, you really are. I love that everyone (nearly) gets me and knows just how much I love my dogs and not that I need to justify it but being a dog mum IS the best thing ever, so I stand by my words.

If you must know, being a mum to a newborn is not the best thing ever right now. It’s broken me. I feel as though I’ve been treading water since February 11th and the last two days I’ve felt like I’m at breaking point.

I’m not coping well mentally and wish I could be stronger for my daughter. I’m not enjoying what I’m going through, yes I’m struggling and you’re right, I am sad behind the eyes because I’ve always taken on new challenges like a duck to water but this one is testing me & I feel like I’m failing.

I’m not afraid to say it because thanks to people like you, there’s far too much pressure on new parents to say how blissful the ‘newborn bubble’ is when really it’s different for EVERY parent because EVERY baby is different.

In Noa’s case, of her first 33 days outside the womb, 14 were spent in hospital, she’s still not sleeping (barely two hours a night) due to trapped wind, reflux or colic. We’ll know more as we’re taking her to the GP later today.

But how dare you say I put my dogs before my child. They’ve not been walked half as much since she was born because she is right now the priority. Which again, makes me feel guilty as I can’t give my dogs the attention they’re used to.

I love my child and for nearly five weeks I’ve devoted myself to keeping her alive. I breastfeed day and night, I comfort, hold, kiss and cuddle her, bath and dress her, I sing and play with her.

I’m trying to get to know her and learn what she’s communicating to me. It’s not been on Insta, because I’m focusing on HER, not doing a ton of InstaStories like before.

I actually want to share all these new experiences with you. But, I’m putting Noa first and doing my job – being a Mother and making sure her needs are met.

There HAVE been moments of joy, but hand on heart, I’m just exhausted, frustrated and the newborn days are not what I thought they’d be. If that upsets of angers you then it’s your problem.

I’m in the darkest place I’ve ever been in, trying to stay positive but I’m not the earth mother you want me to be so accept it. Stop with the hurtful comments.

Please stop judging others and think before posting mean comments.

Finally, if you happen to feel the same stay strong, you’re not alone. #BeKind

We completely stand with Kate on the points she has raised here – not every parent experiences newborn bliss. We want you to know that if you’re feeling like you’re unable to cope, there is help available for you. Contact your Health Visitor, GP or check out the NHS website here.

See Kate’s original post on instagram here.


You may also like to see:

It’s ok to admit it’s not baby bliss with a newborn

15 Golden Nuggets Of Real Life Advice For Newborn Mums

Tips to prepare the first few nights back home with your newborn

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