As a new mother, everyone tells you how hard it is having a newborn, you get NO sleep, you will have no social life and forget about ever spending time trying to make effort with your appearance because you’ll have no time for that and let’s face it, you probably won’t care much anymore.
Then the toddler stage comes, oh the terrible twos and the threenagers. They won’t listen to you and you’ll learn to realise how loud you can really shout, they ignore what you say and you’ll have wee all over your house as you attempt potty training, good luck with that!
You get judged if your baby is crying in public, you get stares if your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of the shop, but dare to tell your child off then you get branded a bad mum.
There’s so much judgement when it comes to EVERYTHING that comes with motherhood. If you don’t take vitamins during pregnancy then your putting your unborn baby at risk but if you do then you’re told that vitamins don’t even do anything and you’re wasting your money. You get stares when breastfeeding but then told you’re not giving your child the best chance if you formula feed. Start weaning at 4 months then it’s far too early and you could damage your child’s gut but baby-led weaning after 6 months then you’re told your trying to make them grow up too quick! Potty train before 2 then you’re pushing your child too early and it could lead to issues later on with the toilet but potty train after 3 then you’re lazy. If you leave the house with no makeup on and hair scraped back then you’ve let yourself go but if you’re all done up then you can’t be giving your child the attention that they need because you’re too busy making yourself look good.
These are just a few of many, many examples so why, as mothers do we share all the bad things and constantly judge when it comes to parenting? When your friend tells you she’s pregnant, why do you say “enjoy sleep now while it lasts!” or “prepare for the stretch marks!”
We are all guilty of this including me, but why?
To make us feel better? Maybe..
But just remember how you felt when you heard all of this or when you were judged at your parenting skills. Pregnancy and motherhood is hard and there’s no denying that but we need to break the habit of forgetting the good things when talking about it to expecting mothers or any parent, talking about the bad times doesn’t make it easier on anyone!
It’s easy to just remember all the bad points because that’s what seems to stick in our minds but blowing out someone’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter and we need to remember that.