Marriage After a Baby

Adam and I had been married for a year and four months when we found out we were expecting a baby.

We have the best relationship but truth be told, I was worried how becoming parents would change things between us. A lot of people say that having a baby will make or break your relationship. For us, it did neither!

It certainly hasn’t broken us and it hasn’t made us because we didn’t need to be made. Thankfully, we are exactly the same as we were before!

Adam and I are a bit odd in that we just do not argue. Of course we bicker occasionally about stupid things like all couples do, but we have never, in almost 6 years, had a serious argument. If there are ever any stern words between us, five minutes later we are usually back to normal, laughing about something else.

One thing I will say, is that we definitely have more interesting conversations after having Edison. We usually start our day exchanging thoughts on Edison’s morning poop. We then discuss colour, consistency and smell as if we are talking about the morning news. It is just normal.

We now pee in front of each other too. It saves time. Yesterday I was having a nice soak in the bath and in strolls Adam…’I’m just having a wee’, despite the fact we have two bathrooms in the house, but I get it. This was the downstairs bathroom and who wants to walk upstairs when you don’t have to, at least it wasn’t a poo.

I’m definitely more snappy in terms of temperament now I’m a mum, I think it’s the tiredness. Sometimes it feels like we’re competing with each other, who is more tired today? We’re both super tired but to be fair, Adam usually wins as he is working full-time. Even though I get up in the night with Edison most of the time, Adam still gets woken up every time Edison wakes up so he has broken sleep every night too.

I know I am very lucky to have Adam. He is really really helpful and just the most amazing dad. He gets up nearly every morning at 5am, takes the baby monitor downstairs with him and tidies the kitchen, loads the dishwasher and makes Edison’s bottle so I can get an hour and a half peace and quiet before he leaves for work. I don’t expect him to do that but he does and without complaint.

About a month ago, I was approached by an author in America, who reads my blog, to beta read his new book about marriage. It was a kind of self help book and it is based on team qualities that you look for in a husband/wife. As I was reading it I was thinking this book must have been based on Adam 😂.

I sometimes think my life could have turned out so differently but I’m so glad it didn’t. I’m 100% completely happy in my marriage and I couldn’t wish for a better husband to be raising my child with.

I know this post has been the cheesiest, most ridiculous ode to my husband. I’m well aware that sadly a lot of people are unhappy in their own marriages and life isn’t this perfect for them. I’m truly sorry for anyone reading this who is in that situation. It must be so hard.

I was in a relationship for 6 years before I was with Adam and that relationship was heading in the marriage direction but I wasn’t happy at all, deep down and I know if I’d have stayed in that relationship I would have ultimately ended up in an unhappy marriage myself. I know it is hard to believe, but I really honestly feel there is someone out there for everyone, a soul mate if you will.

I hope I am not offending anyone reading this who feels I may be boasting about my happy life. I’m just a big believer that if you’re happy and you know it do clap your hands, embrace it, talk about it and spread the positivity 👏🏻.

D x

#

 

Written by Danielle Bagnall for her blog, And Baby Makes 3.

Follow her on Facebook and Instagram!