I’m a Mummy Now, But I’m Still Me

It’s amazing how life changes, isn’t it? How we go from nights out drinking Sex on the Beach cocktails until the small hours, to milky burps and bleary eyes.

That’s life; we evolve, we grow, we change. We take different pathways to our friends, people we thought we’d be glued to forever. These roads aren’t always parallel… we sadly watch, babe in arms, as they take the next junction out of there and you carry on with your puke stained clothes, tired eyes and fierce love. That love is your fire, and keeps you going.

‘You’ve changed,’ they say, when you bale on yet another social extravaganza.

But I haven’t, you think to yourself… Motherhood doesn’t mean that I don’t WANT to go out all the time, it means that I can’t as much.

‘But can’t someone watch the baby?’ they ask, when your childcare falls through.

Yeah, let me just pull a babysitter from my arse, hold on a moment.

‘Can’t you just give her a bottle?’ pings the text, dripping with unspoken eyerolls that you just KNOW are happening on the other end of the phone.

If only it was as easy as stuffing a bottle in a baby’s chops.

As the distance grows between you, like a gaping crevasse slowly inching you away from your old life, you notice new friendships forming, new besties, new photos to nights out that you weren’t invited to all over Instagram with the hashtag #bestfriends, your heart aches with sadness and your head aches with tiredness, and you have to CHOOSE which ache to prioritise, because ultimately your baby is now your number one.

‘That’s life,’ you sigh, trying not to let it bother you. It’ll be better when the baby is a bit older, and it’ll be like none of this change ever happened… right? But dynamics have evolved and new foundations have formed, yours buried underneath like the ruins of a Roman village. Fun to excavate, look back on, and regale, but old news. Ancient history, amid the excitement and buzz of new friends who are available at the touch of a button, for selfies and booze and FUN.

Fun. Since when did becoming a mummy make you less fun?

I’d say motherhood makes us more fun! We don’t necessarily lose our love for our old hobbies, we just take on more… wild softplay sessions, running around the Zoo, messy baking afternoons filled with the chimes of a child’s laughter and joy.

We’re still us. We’re still the same person inside, just with a few added upgrades. The new and improved version of ourselves.

Yet some people aren’t emotionally ready to make that leap, and live in the past – and that is ok! Perhaps as they mature and evolve on their own pathway, maybe with kids of their own a few years down the line, their life pathway will suddenly veer towards yours and you’ll meet again at the next junction, on the same wavelength again, and ready to rekindle your old friendship.

I’m a mummy now, but I’m still me. Don’t count me out. See you in a few ‘junctions’, I hope!

Katie. Xx