Have you heard of a baby nup? No, us neither, or at least until very recently. Once we learned what a baby nup was they quickly became a talking point in the BBY office. Like a pre-nup for parenthood, these agreements are apparently on the rise in the US, with US Parade magazine recently publishing a feature on how couples are using these agreements to divide duties before a baby arrives. But how do they work and could you and your partner stick to one?
What is a Baby Nup?
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your to-do list and wish the load could be shared more effectively? Want more understanding and recognition for what you do? Some couples are choosing to draw up a list of household and baby care duties to share out before they become parents.
The aim of such agreements might simply be to set realistic expectations of who may be able to handle what in the early days. However, in some cases parents are even going as far as creating electronic calendars and household rotas to make life more manageable once baby has arrived.
Dividing up the household duties before baby arrives in a realistic way could ease a lot of pressure that falls on relationships when a baby is born. Is something this you would consider doing or wish you’d done before having kids?
There are clear potential benefits about being up front with who will do what. A baby nup could provide structure at what is for most people a stressful time. It may also relieve the mental load of one or both partners and make communication easier too. And at a really basic level, it will help parents to plan for and be more mindful of changes that may happen in their own relationship. We’ve written before about the impact becoming a new parent can take on our sex lives in this post, but there’s so much more that can take a toll on a household!
It’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s really is hard to know just how much work is involved in caring for a baby until it arrives. In fact, a recent study in Spain found that Dads being given more time off for paternity leave resulted in a lower birth rate. Why? It’s a small study but some experts suggest that spending more time at home looking after baby gave them a much clearer idea of how much work was involved in caring for a newborn.
What Would You Include In YOUR Baby Nup?
So, what kind of chores would you divvy up in a baby nup? Maybe you’d like to put it down on paper that dad does bath and story time if mum is breastfeeding? Do you want to make sure you both have some downtime plotted in or a regular date night where you make time for each other? Perhaps an allotted lie in or a simple agreement on who takes out the bins would make your life as a mummy or daddy a lot easier?
We’d love to hear what you’d include in a baby nup – either from the perspective as a parent-to-be or retrospectively. Do you think baby nups are a good idea? Or do you think they sound great but might not work in reality? We’d love you to add your comments below!