So… it was my birthday yesterday…
And birthdays have always been a time when I get really stroppy, whether I have my life together or not. It’s just a time where, before my birthday and on the day, I get really moody, I sulk and dwell on stuff that didn’t work out.
The past few years I’ve become stronger than I was, I’ve grown, become more confident, I’ve started to love myself and count my blessings.
And still birthdays are a time when I do get stroppy. I don’t make a big deal or make any plans. I do nothing.
Whether my life has been where I want it or not, I’ve not had anyone in my life that would make a fuss. Or maybe it’s just not seemed to me, I don’t know how to put this but maybe you understand.
This year wasn’t any different, although I didn’t sulk much, as being busy with Misha has kept me distracted, I didn’t make any plans. I was going to go to Misha’s assembly and then maybe watch TV in my pj’s or go off to the cinema alone which I do love doing, but when I do it on my birthday, it’s the only day I feel lonely.
And so yesterday a friend of mine encouraged me to go out for a bit of shopping and lunch and I’m so glad I did. Because I made an effort with myself and felt good that I did. I didn’t sulk and kind of enjoyed the day. I actually went around telling everyone it was my birthday and really enjoyed the attention.
It’s easy to say you love yourself, but it isn’t enough to just say it. You have to do it. Loving yourself is the greatest revolution.