‘Fat Club’

(Bridget sums me up completely)

 

MAINTAINED wtf!

The disappointment you feel when you go to slimming club and it’s… the same.

I mean even when you put a few pounds on at least you own it and get a drive to do better next week. But to maintain! That’s dry…especially when you have worked your fat arse off in the gym and actually did 4 classes in a day on Sunday!! Not to mention the fresh air you have been eating. I try my best but it’s hard to Enjoy ‘fat club’. I’m crap because I never stay I want to get in and out of there quick time and I don’t want to listen to the stories of how you can freeze a muller light to make it be like an ice cream treat, fuck that Pauline. (Sorry if anyone is actually called Pauline and goes to group, It’s just a name that popped into my head for expression and it is such a fab idea you are right good for you! Truth is I don’t know your names because I leave so fast.)

I swear I have stuck to this diet!! The only thing I guess I have done this week is have a few carbs… oh and a segment! yes a segment of milky bar… and a vegetarian sausage! It’s hardly call the police diet behaviour… it’s so disheartening.

I wish I had maintained a healthy diet while pregnant for the last 3/4 years but I figured I was pregnant so it was a get out of jail card for eating what the hell I wanted! Man I am paying the price now and it’s such hard work trying to get the weight off! It’s a real struggle…

So shut your eyes now if you don’t want no spoilers 😂…this is Me now…in all my glory… 

(and in my Bridget big pants too)

 

I’ve never been that worried about my weight but I have always been a heavy person. I have put on 4 stone since having the boys! I know it’s only natural to put on weight when pregnant but 4 stone! Nah it needs to go and I’m determined to get rid.

I’ve always been lucky with my weight because I am tall so can mask it easy, a few cheeky pounds here or there. I’m probably the only fat person with Crohn’s aswell because even having a disease I am not thin! Can’t win! Thought there would be some advantage to Crohn’s but nooo not for me….you do get a ‘can’t wait card’ so you can have VIP loo access (score!) 😂 anyway….(too much info)

I’ve never been worried about my weight but it’s more that I want to be fit, active and healthy and confident. We are never going to look like we did when we were 18 lol but In my mind you want to live up to that. BUT 31 now with 3 kids and yes you have obtained your mum bod so embrace it!

As a kid I remember thinking ‘why does my mum go to a fat club?’ lol How weird and now I’m grown up and doing the same thing. You never think it will come to you. I was always told you will have to watch what you eat someday but it’s so true as you get older the easier it is to gain weight and the harder it is to loose it.

Weight it’s very obviously a very personal and an individual concept. You could be 50st and rocking it (although maybe not that healthy) but some people are happy that way and you know what good for them. Same to the person who is like 2st (not healthy either and probably exaggerating a little here) but that might be their happy weight. We are all different sizes, shapes, weights. We should celebrate who we are and not be defined by numbers. It’s like sometimes you can get annoyed like the skinny bitch is saying she’s fat?! But to her she might be it’s all about perception…you might look at someone bigger and think they are the same to you never thought of them as fat, thin or anything but to them they might feel awful. It’s all about your own perception. And it shouldn’t be about what others think of you anyway.

So as I said I have never been bothered by my weight. However, The only time I had a problem with food was when I first started university. At the time I had been dumped by my boyfriend. So much change had happened and moving out of home, I started to binge on fast food and throw up! (I know!) I wouldn’t call myself bulimic but I guess it was. I was so unhappy. I wasn’t even worried about being fat as such it was more emotional and I got a buzz from doing it as no-one knew, I also hated myself. I went to the gym and was obsessed. I would run there and back and do 2 hours cardio. I was addicted! This carried on for about a year and I went to the doctors, moved back home and all my anxiety stopped. It was only then that I addressed my issues and went back to normal as such and didn’t worry about food. It was a funny phase and I’ve never done anything like that since.

I wish I had the drive to go to the gym now! I go mind you but my thought process before is so trying to tell me not to

1. You look like a lobster when you work out

2. People will laugh at your fat arse

3. It hurts

4. I’m tired

5. I hate it

6. Why god why (crying)

7. What’s the point

8. I can just work out at home( I won’t)

Ohhhh kkk change thinking, pretend you like it…and it’s a break from the kids…gets in car 😂🙌🏻

(Told you, LOBSTER! for at least 2 hours after)

 

There is so much about life to enjoy and what we should do is be proud of who we are because guess what… there is only 1 of you, yes you! And you are unique in every way, there is no one else that is YOU. So you have to do your own thing and stop comparing yourself, your body, your weight to anyone else because you will fail every time. There is only ONE of YOU and how amazing is that! In this whole world (because you never know you could be duplicated in an alternate universe but that is far too deep and I won’t go into all that). WOW though pretty amazing.

The main reason for me wanting to lose weight is because I don’t like my body like it is. I feel like the fat doesn’t belong to me so I’m getting rid it ain’t mine sorry bye bye! Doesn’t mean I want to be a twig. I just want to feel comfortable, happy and feeling good. I couldn’t care less about stretch marks! I’m covered in them on my stomach, legs and whatever! I’ve had 3 kids and I refuse to be ashamed of them.

For all of you out there feeling the struggle just remember to take a day at a time be patient, resilient and give it time!

And do not be hard on yourself! If it was so easy to loose weight then we would but it’s hard graft. If you slip up so what! but one thing you can’t do is give up! Why? Because you have to respect yourself and not give up on your journey WHY? Because you are worth it and deserve to be happy. Do it for yourself, not for the kids not for your partner, not to prove to your mates, do it for you.. and if you are happy as you are then just embrace yourself as you are in the here and now because it can all change in a second. Appreciate life, what you are, what you have, what you may do, become, is for tomorrow.

So I haven’t got the perfect body… define perfect?! So I’ve got a fat arse?! So I’ve got stretch marks? You know what I am still fit! (yes bigheaded…or just deciding not to me mean to myself) and I am really happy. What’s that worth? The perfect body? I know what I would rather have and that’s everything I have right now.

Maintained…you know what…I’ll take it

 

Written by Stephanie Rich for her blog, For The Mother Of Sons.

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