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So, Time For Another?

by Carly Kenyon

It feels like from the moment you’ve (just about) gotten over the birth of your first child, everyone is asking “So, time for another?” or “Freya needs a brother or sister now.”

Wow people – let me just recover a minute. I know some mums are super mums and popping out siblings in no time, but I feel like I need time to adjust; physically and mentally! It is such a personal thing whether you even want another child, to the age gaps that you would like; that being in an ideal world – after all, we can’t always control what our bodies will and won’t do.

It is such a funny thing that most people will ask this, I’m guilty of it myself. But why do we always feel the need to know and ask this, always on to the next. Instead, I am trying to enjoy the moment with Freya. Honestly, I do wonder about a sibling for Freya. I have been honest on here and said how I struggle post-natally, and the worry and fear is that a second child would increase this anxiety, especially as that is what I have read can happen. Can I be one of those super mums… newborn strapped to my chest, toddler in one arm, bags hanging from anywhere/thing possible, slightly resembling a pack horse…hmm; we shall see! But for now, I am living in the moment.

I was getting myself SO worked up worrying about a second child. I had always thought I would have maybe three children, so now that I am even contemplating a second, I was getting so hung up on this and worrying that I wouldn’t be able to do it. But then I stepped back from this weird way of thinking and thought, enjoy the moment, be present. There is no rush.

But it’s not just children we are like this with. Everything. I have been guilty of this – always planning what is next. But since having Freya I am finding I am more grateful and really enjoying the moment for what it is. Society can be such a rush and the pressure to keep up with others, but who are we trying to keep up with? Who says we should be at such a stage by such an age? So I say, forget these ideals we have in our heads, forget about what others are doing. Do things that YOU want to do, and at YOUR pace. Since thinking like this I feel so much lighter and almost have this sense of relief. What will happen will happen. Life is short, enjoy the ride.

Love candle surrounded by rose petals


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