The Message We Should Be Teaching Our Kids

After quite an interesting week it’s come to my attention that we still have young and beautiful females chasing and begging shitty arse men.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this also goes the other way round and there’s absolutely lovely sound guys, chasing after dog shit women.

SO – I’m not gonna lie to you and say this has never been me, of course it has! However.. Only ONCE.. And I was 15, after that you’ve got to become strong and set your standards ladies and gents.

And it starts by loving yourself and being alone.

A massive cliché I’m aware but my god is it true – when I first had to be.. Just Me.. Alone.. It was strange and hard and I didn’t really know me.. So you’ve gotta do some soul searching, and it involves going and having lunch in a cafe.. Alone.. Making conversations with people in public, coming home and watching your favourite TV shows, treating yourself nice with a hot bath, painting your nails, doing, your hair but not for no man.. Not for a`wow you look nice babe’

No.. It’s for you. LOVE YOURSELF.

I do believe that your teen relationships help massively in learning and becoming stronger and that heartbreak helps you learn – but it most definitely is trickier when you get caught learning these feelings into adulthood when there’s extra bits involved like a house and children, so.. You may have all called me a little slut at 16 but hey ho – I can hold my own now, and I know just how to handle heartbreak and by god.. I’ve learnt id rather enjoy my own space and time than be with someone who doesn’t bring me joy (I’m marie kondo but on a whole new level).

Here’s my little rundown.

RESPECT.. He/she needs to treat you with respect, it involves how they speak to you- how they conduct themselves without you (yes…. Im on about him slapping that barmaids ass) DON’T PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT. If you know he’s texting someone else.. If you’re aware she’s back on tinder.. Don’t make excuses ladies and gents GET RID.

GAS LIGHTING – if they are making you out to be a crazy motherfucker….. It’s not on and its also abuse, don’t sweep that shit under the carpet.

Always reevaluate relationships, are you more sad than happy whilst being together – is that ACTUALLY What you want? Don’t get me wrong here.. Couples argue and I’ve no doubt once in a while you’ll wonder.. Am I in the right relationship? BUT if this isn’t proven nice and quickly to be a yes, or if you’re thinking the same thing every 2 weeks or so, ODDS ARE you’d be happier single.

Now, I think a lot of people’s biggest hangup about breakups isn’t actually the other person – it’s not the ‘I”l miss her so much’ its the, how will I pay the bills on my own, what will I do if I’ve got nobody here, it’s routines and the fact you’re comfortable GET OUT OF THAT COMFORT ZONE, you live once and you need to make the most of it.. shitty relationships will only leave you with regrets. These are all things that yes, are scary but also can be dealt with quick if you ask for help – you’ll be surprised how quick you can build an army behind you by talking to people about the fact you want to leave a shitty relationship.

You’re gonna cry, of course you are – cry in the shower, cry in bed, cry all night for what could have been, wallow in self pity and eat your bodyweight in ice cream, it’s normal BUT THEN BE A BAD BITCH. You know.. Don’t let it Spiral, because realistically of course it’s sad but if you’ve realised that someone isn’t good enough for you technically.. They should be crying NOT YOU. so pick yourself up, put your slap on and take yourself out for a damn good breakfast alone.

I have lots more to say on the situation but I just really want people to learn to love themselves SO MUCH that they don’t put up with any shit. That they don’t beg relationships that are no good for them. And if you have children, please teach good relationships and self love, help break the cycle. Teach them whats acceptable and whats not, LEAD BY EXAMPLE. If youd husband talks to you like absolute shit and you stick around, guess what… the cycle will continue and.. your daughter will allow her boyfriend to do the same. Your son will think its a totally normal and acceptable way to speak to his girlfriend. You get the idea.

Know better. Do better.

And LOVE YOURSELF.

And in the words of marie kondo, if it’s not sparking joy.. chuck it out.