THERE IS NO GLOW
Hear ye, hear ye, pregnant ladies… We’ve been lied to.
That’s right; we’ve been given this image of a pregnant mother GLOWING. You know… All tanned, perfectly round bump, rocking clothes that almost look like they’ve been tailored to her perfect body by the fucking maternity fairies.
And here I am… To let you know that it’s a bloody lie!! I too have been told I am glowing, but let me tell you, that glow took two hours and St. Moritz fake tan with some illuminator cream on top… Also… Filter didn’t go amiss!
The reality is puking your guts up, pissing yourself numerous times a day, and devouring your body weight in ginger biscuits or cheesy pasta was never going to make you look radiant, and that is absolutely fine. It’s normal.
It’s also totally normal that you now resemble Homer Simpson, with your belly hanging out the bottoms of all your T-shirts, and your favourite line of all time is “sweatpants are all that fit me right now”… Oh, Regina George, how we feel you.
So, this is just for my pregnant mamas wearing ill-fitting primark T-shirts, a dirty pair of maternity leggings (because buying more than one pair seems ridiculous) and the bare minimum on your face, because you’re gonna puke and rub it all off anyway, or sweat it off trying to make it up the mountain that is your staircase…
Here’s to the ‘NO GLOW’…
Chink chink *raises a bottle of gaviscon*
Edited by Rebecca Wright