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Mum Called Selfish For Hiding Pregnancy

A mum has been slated by her family for hiding her pregnancy until she gave birth – even from her own mother!

For most of us, the news of an incoming baby is something that we share to at least our closest family and friends. Some of us choose to wait until the 12 week scan, some choose to wait a little longer, but it isn’t uncommon. However, it’s almost unheard of for a parent-to-be to hide their news until their baby is born! We’re judgement-free and fully respect that some people wish to keep it private from everyone, especially if they have ‘toxic’ relatives, but the story has elicited a very heated debate online…

Sharing her story on Reddit’s infamous ‘Am I The *sshole’ board, the woman shared her story and asked for feedback…

She shared with the forum followers; “I was estranged from my mum for a number of years and we had sort of reconciled a couple of months before the pandemic sent us into lockdown. Our relationship has been rocky since then and I didn’t want her trying to push past the let’s see stage into me being her baby and her being grandma. She hurt me deeply.

She then went into greater detail and gave some background information, noting that issues with her mum started when her father, with who she had a very tight bond with, heartbreakingly died after a long illness when she was only nine years of age.

She continued; “My mum did her grieving when he was sick and was able and ready to bounce back and start dating fast. Whereas I had nightmares, woke up crying and often had panic attacks after his death. It p***ed her off that babysitters would call her home from dates and then when she got married and I was crying it p***ed her off even more because she had wanted me to keep watch of her husband’s two kids at the time.”

Three years later, the poster cut contact with her mum.

After her dad passed away, it took three years for her to get on the road to recovery and take a stand. The poster was finally given professional help and support for the profound trauma she was experiencing after the loss of her dad. She then moved in with her grandparents when she was seventeen after a fall-out with her mum and cut off all contact, until recently, hence why her mum, stepdad and step-siblings didn’t know about the pregnancy until two days after her baby boy arrived.

She continued on; “My mum was angry and told me I denied the family the chance to be excited and plan for a new addition to the family, that it was her and her husband’s first grandchild and I had no right to keep them in the dark for so long.
“He told me I was punishing my mum for being happy when I couldn’t be.”

You can read the full post below, and view the thread here.


Image Credit: Reddit

The poster asked; was she in the wrong, and did she make a mistake reconciling with her mum?

Reddit commenters told the poster she was absolutely NOT the *sshole in this situation, and many even went on to encourage her to completely cut ties once more after her mum’s behaviour and reaction.

Our favourite comment was; “I might have sympathy for your mum if she had cried and apologised that she had hurt you so badly that you didn’t want to share your motherhood journey with her, but after her selfish diatribe? No sympathy, and no faith that she can bring anything positive to your life.”

What do YOU think? Do you have a similar story?

Tell us your opinions and experiences in the comments, or if you want us to share it on our website (we can do this anonymously), email in at [email protected]

Cover image credit: Pixabay

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