When is The Right Time?
Raife is 16 months old today and as I sat and watched him toddling and babbling away to himself earlier, I found myself wondering how lovely it would be for him to have a sibling to play, explore and experience life with. After around 30 seconds of wondering, I changed my mind pretty sharpish when he had a mini meltdown because I wouldn’t let him have a Party Ring biscuit! Toddlers, eh!
This evening got me thinking that it’s a question I’ve been met with time and time again, more so since Raife celebrated his first birthday.
“When will you have another one?”
I always reply with the same answer – “I’m happy with how things are, thank you” to which I get raised eyebrows and a, “Well don’t leave it too long!”
The truth is, I really do love my life as it is at the moment. I love having a toddler with whom I can experience life with. We go on adventures, we chat, we take the dog for a walk and I really enjoy giving him all of my focus and attention. He’s a very busy toddler, opening and closing doors, constantly chasing the dog and body surfing on the coffee table so adding to the current chaos in our house would be quite a challenge.
We’ve finally settled down as a family, have routines that work for our lifestyle and have found the perfect balance between work and family life. We have a car that can accommodate a pram, we can just about manage taking the dog for a walk whilst Raife goes on his bike and we have a year filled with lots of plans and days out.
Adding to the brood just isn’t in the plan any time soon.
I know that when someone does ask the question, it comes from a place of love and curiosity. After all, why wouldn’t we want another cherub-faced, drooly baby?! Whilst we do eventually want another child, we consider ourselves to be fortunate enough to have one healthy child. Infertility, domestic issues, money and general life all play a part in deciding to have a baby, so before asking the question, just consider the difficulties a family may be facing in their quest to have another baby. I know that I need to seriously look after myself, gain some weight and enjoy having my body and boobs back before even considering having another one.
On the other hand, there is something to be admired and slightly envied when siblings are extremely close. My siblings and I are fiercely close and I absolutely love that we have experienced so many adventures with each other and have enough memories to last a lifetime. Mum often tells us that we weren’t rich but our house was full of laughter and love which is something I can certainly vouch for. Since having Raife, I have so much admiration and respect for my parents for raising four children so close in age, but they did it, loved it and I know they wouldn’t change anything about it. I also know some friends who have or are having children close in age and I feel so thrilled for them because their children will have the most amazing and magical relationship.
We know that we would like to have another child at some point in the future. My husband is the youngest of three and as I said, I’m the eldest of four so we’ve grown up surrounded by siblings. When though? In truth, not any time soon. The time is not right for us at the moment – we’re enjoying our sleep too much, but this will, of course, vary for each family. There is no right or wrong time, do exactly what feels right and what you want and enjoy every single moment.
There’s so much we want to experience with Raife before introducing a sibling to our family. We’re so blessed to have him that we just want to enjoy life as a three for a bit longer (and Sherlock!)