So many of us can relate to that struggle with coming to grips with our 'mum bod' after giving birth.
If you're one of the many mums whose body didn't just 'snap back' after giving birth to your baby, you're not alone. Whilst we're massive advocates for body positivity, we're also very much in support of those who struggle to come to terms with their new figure, and lack confidence in themselves as a result. It's totally valid, and completely natural.
One mum has taken to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask if she's in the wrong for wearing a bikini in front of her sister, who has not long had a baby, and who is unhappy with her post-baby body. However, there's quite a lot more to unpack than this alone so read on...
Read the full post below...
"Basically the title.
I (26F) am on a family vacation (parents, sister Rachel (30), her son (1), her husband Adam (31), and my husband and our daughter (2)). We are by the sea and yesterday was the first time we’d be going to a beach club.
My sister asked me not to wear a bikini or anything revealing because she said both she and Adam are not feeling the best about her postpartum body and she really doesn’t want to bring the topic up. I said I was sorry she feels that way but I wasn’t going to spend a day roasting under an umbrella, unable to swim or enjoy myself. I said tons of women would be in bikinis so I didn’t see why I made a difference.
We went to the beach and Rachel was a wreck all day, and refuse to come with us to the beach today,
My parents are now saying I’m the AH for not just wearing a cover up that you can still swim in and that if I keep wearing swimwear it’s going to ruin the trip.
Edit - re Adam and the body thing. Yes, you read it right. Rachel didn’t elaborate but I presume Adam has made some kind of comments because several times during and after Rachel’s pregnancy, he asked me about my postpartum diet/workout regimen. I was vague about it but did end up telling him I’d had surgery and various non-invasive treatments and that diet/exercise was not the deciding factor. He stopped asking."
What was the general consensus?
The savvy readers of Reddit INSTANTLY jumped onto the detail about the husband of the sister in question and his 'feelings' about Rachel's post partum body, and wow, they did not disappoint us. The top rated comment was;
"NTA. I'm sorry, her HUSBAND is not feeling the best about her post-partum body? Your bikini is not the cause of her being a "wreck." Her own insecurity (which her husband is likely contributing to) is. This is a garbage situation but you're not responsible for it."
Thousands of comments mirrored this, with people assuring the poster that it isn't her fault - she should wear what she wants at the pool and should never have to feel guilted into covering up purely because someone else is unhappy with their own body. The main problem here, in essence, is the brother-in-law of the poster. Another comment pointed out;
"I think the solution is to leave Adam in the room so that your sister can enjoy the beach with your family without having her husband judge her or put her down for her post baby body.
You’re not the asshole for wearing a bikini."
In this situation, we'd totally empathise with our hypothetical sister, but ultimately, if we felt comfortable in a bikini on a holiday, we'd wear it - imagine if the poster had only packed bikini swimwear for the entire holiday. Would she be asked to not swim or sunbathe?! No one should be expected to go through life covering themselves up just because others dislike their own figure, it's unfair and extreme.
There's one big obvious problem in this entire situation, and it's called Adam. Whilst it's pretty normal to want our spouses to be healthy and to have concerns if their weight is perhaps causing issues, there are tactful and loving ways to go about expressing this, and the impression we're getting is that he's actually comparing his wife to her sister (the poster) and behaving in a way that is causing emotional distress. The fact that their parents are now also trying to guilt trip her rather than call out their son-in-law on his behaviour is also problematic!
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