Who Even Am I Now? Losing Yourself to Motherhood
Written by Georgina Clarke for her blog, Georgina Clarke Blog.
I know my labels, I firmly know my place within those roles. I am a full time blogger. I am Rory’s mama. I am Richards wife. These are all things I know how to do. But who really is Georgina Clarke these days? What does she like? How does she dress? What does she do in her downtime? (downtime LOL!) I’m determined to find her.. stay tuned!
WHERE DID I GO?
I’m a blogger, wife and soon to be mum of two, I know all of those things. They are my labels, but what makes me, me? I know who I was before Rory. I was a Taylor Swift fangirl, junk food lover and I could quote you Mean Girls all day long (I still could do that to be fair). I was a girl that could categorically be defined as “basic” and I was damn proud of that. But Taylor Swift recently dropped a new album and I haven’t even batted an eyelid.
That isn’t through lack of interest, purely through lack of prioritisation? Downtime is so limited now that listening to music falls low in the ranks. In fact, taking time out to indulge in my interests has fallen down the ranks.
I know my labels, I firmly know my place within those roles, but I don’t know who Georgina Clarke really is these days? What does she like? How does she dress? What does she do in her downtime? (downtime LOL!)
There are so many things that aren’t discussed in the antenatal classes (not that I made it to them, cheers for being early Rory!) but one thing they certainly don’t cover off is that once you deliver your baby, they become so insanely important that your world revolves around them. So much so that they become your world. They become everything you are. Although that’s amazing and I love it, I do miss having things I know were mine.
IS IT TIME TO SAY GOODBYE?
I am starting to roll with it, to accept that the “old Georgina” might not exist anymore. Hell, there are even aspects to embrace about that. “Mama Georgina” is way more relaxed and comfortable in her own skin. I’m not constantly chasing the next big thing and I’m much happier with my lot in life. I’ve never been a particularly judgemental person, but since becoming a mum I am so unjudgemental its crazy. I also don’t care what people think anymore. I am just happy in my own little bubble, constantly patting myself on the back for raising a truly beautiful baby boy.
I’m starting to realise that it’s time to bid farewell to the old me and that’s okay. Instead of constantly looking to find her, it’s time to find the new me. The happier, more confident me. Hey, I’m sure there is still room for a little Taylor Swift, right?