Written by Louise Josephine for her blog, The Confusing Diaries of a Puzzled Mummy.
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The ‘Single Mother’ conversation seems to have resurfaced of late, along with the charming video of David Cameron making a speech after the Looting took place a few years back where he stated that he doubted the looters “had fathers at home”.
To be fair David, it’s a tough call to decide whether you’d rather have a child from a single family who loots, or a child from an ‘unbroken middle class family’ who fucks pigs.
Let’s ignore the sexist idea that children need a father at home to instill discipline & morals. The idea is ludicrous and really doesn’t deserve acknowledgement.
Instead, let’s look at the idea that single mothers are ‘bad mothers.’
Despite being a single mother myself, I just can’t take offence to this ideology. Mainly because becoming single hasn’t made me a bad mother. It’s made me a better one. A happier one.
Yes, I may be alone. But I’m no longer lonely.
My children are no longer surrounded by a mother who is snappy and irritable because she’s miserable. I have less time but somehow more than ever. Time to just listen.
Instead of a snoring man in my bed I have two cosy, chubby cheeked minis crawling in with me in the middle of the night
The bond with my children is stronger than its ever been.
I’m less stressed. Probably because I now only have to raise the children that grew in my womb rather than a fully grown one that didn’t
I just don’t get this idea of ‘Single Mum, Bad Mum’
I’m absolutely killing it as a parent.
Yes, I’m juggling 5 million things at once and my life is chocolate and snot stained chaos. But the same can be said for ALL Mums! Not just the singletons!
We all second guess ourselves, feel the guilt, roll our eyes silently at yet another tantrum.
But I parent no differently now than I ever did before.
I don’t fit the ‘Stereotype’ and if you look closely I doubt any of us do.
The very fact that when a family breaks up it’s the single mother who is blamed for the way their children turn out speaks volumes. We’re here, holding the fort! As per fucking usual! Single or NOT!
Which particular single mother are we discussing here?
The ones who ended up here by chance?
The ones who planned to raise children alone?
The young mother who wasn’t quite ready?
Let’s face it. We’re all in the same boat but with very different journeys.
You can be a bad parent as a single mother. You can be a bad parent when not.
But most of us fucking rule! With men or without!
And all our children have every chance of conquering this world.
So to EVERY mother out there. Keep on keeping on! You’re doing a marvellous job