Written by Luca Russell for her Facebook blog, Just Luca.
It would appear I’m suffering from a bad case of NAPS.
NAPS isn’t what you think it is, because I’m sure as you read this you’ve thought to yourself, I’d love to have NAPS! who doesn’t love a nap eh?
Well I hate to disappoint but it isn’t that kind of a naps, not the sleepy sort. NAPS stands for New Anxious Parent Syndrome. Phrase and acronym coined by my very self thank you very much.
Lochlann is now 6 months old and from the very moment he was handed to me I have had NAPS. Whilst carrying Lochlann I thought to myself I am going to be MEGA chilled and so relaxed when he is here, nothing will phase me, I’ve got this.
Well let me tell you, all that shite went straight out the window, because the moment my monster was pulled out of me it hit me… holy shit, I am responsible for this tiny human, this tiny human needs me, I am responsible for the wellbeing, the feeding, the clothing and sheer MAKING SURE THIS BABY IS ALIVE AND WELL. This might seem a tad over the top, but it’s true.
It made me think of all those times people who DON’T have kids would talk about “when they had kids”, for example, “when I have kids I’ll make sure they sleep in their own room from day one”, or “when I have this baby I can’t wait to have a weekend away”. This talk makes me laugh, to those who do say stuff like this let me tell you, you really have no idea.
These people for sure, to some extent, will have a case of NAPS.
I’m anxious about everything to do with Lochlann, I haven’t had a full nights sleep since his birth, not because my son doesn’t sleep, he is in fact an excellent sleeper, but I’m up every 30 mins or so checking to make sure hes still breathing, this is definitely my NAPS.
I have NAPS if his nappies are different, I have NAPS if he coughs too hard, I have NAPS if his cheeks are too red, I have NAPS if he’s not as giggly or smiley as he normally is, I have NAPS about his future and my ability to parent him. I even have NAPS right now because we have started weaning him, and I’ve resorted to weaning him with pureed foods first because I’m scared that he only has 2 teeth and if I do baby led weaning he could choke.
NAPS drives me crazy at times, NAPS doesnt seem to want to leave me. I often wonder if Josh has NAPS too? Is it a dad thing to have NAPS or mostly a mum thing? Josh is the most laid back person I know and I often wish i could be like him. Unfortunately I’m not wired that way.
NAPS is hindering my ability to try Lochlann out in his own room, NAPS makes me freak out at the very thought of leaving him overnight with anyone.
I understand that NAPS will probably not leave me anytime soon, however I do hope it can slowly dwindle and not be so severe. I’d hate to think that in years to come id still be so wrapped up in my NAPS that I’d end up like Drew Barrymore in that scene from “riding in cars with boys” where she’s on the pier with her son and yells “WHEN DOES THIS JOB EVER END!!!!????“
I know the “job” that is parenting will never end, and I never want it to, I hope the “job” of dealing with NAPS will subside and not drive me as crazy as it does currently. Maybe one day my son will be in his own room, I’ll get a full nights sleep, and josh and i could have a night or two away.
I’m away to wallow in my NAPS because Lochlann keeps making these new weird grunting and growling sounds and I need to find out why.
Just Luca x