by 30plusandstillclueless

I’ve never been what you would call a slim girl. I’ve always struggled with my weight and I was a chubby child,  but from my late teens going into my early twenties, I started to focus more on my health and wellbeing, so I started to exercise more and make a big effort to eat healthily. I slimmed down to a healthy size 10/12. I was in the ‘normal’ range and I had curves in the right places. I was happy and loved my body.

Fast forward to 2015 and I was pregnant with my first child, Charlie. I ate healthily during my pregnancy and still managed to go to the gym and do a few classes a week or swimming. My birth plan didn’t go to plan (as most births probably don’t) and my waters broke on a hen do in Dublin 6 weeks early. I ended up coming home on the ferry and having him via C Section the next day.

Nothing prepares you for the recovery time from a C Section nor does it prepare you for the muffin top and overhang your belly suddenly creates. I had expected the weight to just start dropping off after I had Charlie, but gosh was I wrong! I couldn’t do any strenuous exercise for a few months and the tiredness and chaos a new baby brings caused me to have a lot of takeaways, toast and cake.

I joined Slimming World a few months after having Charlie and did lots and lots of walking so eventually the weight started to shift, and I slimmed down, so I was only 8lbs off my pre-pregnancy weight. I could not shift the 8lbs no matter what I tried,  so I accepted that this was to be my new weight and that that my body had changed a bit post-pregnancy. I had not managed to get back to the gym at all. When I went back to work full-time, all my other time was dedicated to Charlie as otherwise I felt like he wasn’t getting enough of my attention.

I got married in 2017 and fell pregnant again shortly after. This pregnancy was different. I had the stresses of work, a nearly two year old to look after and because I thought this would probably be my last baby I didn’t care what I ate and embraced eating all the things I loved – cake, chocolate, biscuits and takeaways. I put on 3.5 stone and ended up having another C Section. Jorgie Mae was born on 27th April 2018.

This time was even harder. I had a 2.5 year old to look after as well as a tiny baby and found that I hardly had any time to myself at all. All my time was demanded by these two tiny people. I would start the day trying to eat healthy and would do well all day but then once the kids went to sleep I would find myself binging on chocolate to release all the stresses of the day. I felt like I deserved it as a treat for getting through another day. I’d then feel guilty and disgusted with myself for eating all of that rubbish and promise that I would start a diet again the next day.

Some days I feel quite good and tell myself to give it time and that losing weight is a marathon and not a sprint. Other days and I feel in despair like I’m never going to lose the weight and get anything that resembles my old body back. I can understand why some mums experience PND and I am sure this must be a contributing factor. You feel like you lose yourself a little bit when you first have children. You just become ‘Mum’, but this is in every aspect. Not just mentally, but your physical appearance too.

I’m now in a better place. Jorgie Mae is now 3 months old and I have started to exercise again.  I go to the gym 3 mornings a week as Charlie is in nursery and I am lucky enough to have my mum to look after Jorgie. I am trying to make changes to my eating and I am eating a lot of healthier meals including salads, lean meats and healthy carbs, although I still haven’t completely cut out the chocolate in the evening yet. I’m doing lots of walking which is good for Charlie too. I haven’t lost any weight yet, but my mental health and wellbeing has improved, and I am feeling more positive that I will get there eventually.

One of my other problems is that I feel like I still look pregnant nearly 4 months after having Jorgie. After some research I have discovered a condition called diastasis recti which is when the abdominal muscles separate during pregnancy leaving gaps which result in your belly expanding out. I’m not saying that I have this, but it is something I definitely want to explore more.

As a final thought to any mothers feeling the same as I do, I think we just need to give ourselves a break. I have created two amazing tiny human beings and if as a result of that I have to accept that my body may never be the same again then I will have to adapt to this and learn to love my new body for what it has given me.


* indicates required

By clicking "Subscribe", you confirm that you agree to our privacy policy & consent to receiving marketing emails.

Related Posts

Leave a Comment

* By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy