One of the biggest questions asked by our mummy community is ‘when and how is best to introduce our baby to our family?’ – good question!
We’ve decided to delve into the ins and outs of that all important first introduction to your newborn. It’s of course an exciting occasion and your loved ones will be dying to give your new baby a cuddle, which is understandable, but it’s not as simple as letting the masses flood across your threshold the moment you’re home, am I right?
There is no right and wrong way to set up the first meeting; it’s all down to you and your baby. Our guide could help you to plan the perfect meeting, without putting yourself under strain and whilst keeping your precious bundle of joy as content as possible.
Firstly, when is best to introduce baby to family?
The answer to this will vary from person to person. Some are happy to share their new baby as soon as the little one has taken their first feed, and others like to wait days, perhaps even weeks. The big question is… when feels right to YOU? Nothing else matters. Friends and family will wait, if they’re people who will be a consistent presence then it won’t matter.
Jenna told us; “We done it on our terms, as and when we felt like having people round. It’s nice to have people round to meet your new little one but it can get to overwhelming sometimes. Just immediate family for the first few days or until your ready.”
Who should I choose first to meet my baby?
Most of our parenting community have told us that the first people tend to be the grandparents, which makes sense. Sometimes, the grandparents are even at the birth! Close siblings are also often amongst the first. However, if you have very close friends too, or other family with a close bond, this could influence your choice when it comes to the honour of being one of the first people your baby meets. Consider the following;
- How close are you? If exceptionally close, perhaps they should be bumped up the list.
- Will they be a consistent presence or are they just wanting a picture to put on social media before never bothering again (true story)?
- How important is the birth of my child to this person? You’ll usually know the answer to this without even needing to ask. Someone who isn’t that bothered will have made this pretty obvious with lack of interest in baby talk, lack of engagement on posts shared about your baby etc.
Alana told us; “We let grand parents come up the day she was born, Then we met great grandparents and then aunties uncles. Any family further out we went and visited when she was 4 weeks old. Still tiny but it gave me time to recover. I think the one bit of advice I’d give new parents is, don’t have the mentality I did and have everyone come the first week to get it over and done with and don’t do too much too soon as I got myself so worked up and upset on day 5 as reality hit. Take your time, enjoy the newborn bubble and relax!”
Where should I introduce my baby to my family?
Whether on home turf, or somewhere away from your family nest, there’s no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on what you’d like. Some of our parents made an occasion of the first meeting by planning a meal at a nice cafe or restaurant for anyone wanting to see the new baby, which also gave them a reason to get out of the house and glammed up a little. Let’s face it, it DOES feel lush to preen yourself and freshen up after having a baby. It’s not a priority of course, but it’s worth mentioning the feel-good factor.
Many mummies are too tired and sore to even consider this, so their home becomes the base camp for first meetings. I’m definitely someone who had to have home visits. My tips would be…
- Don’t fret about housework. If anyone drops a sly comment, point them in the direction of your cleaning cupboard… or the door.
- Do it on YOUR terms. Set times where you’re not happy to be disturbed and stick to them rigidly.
- Ask people to make their own drinks, it’s not fair for visitors to expect to be waited on!
What rules should I set for meeting my baby?
This question is an entirely new blog post – read our article on newborn rules here! To summarise, there are plenty of rules and boundaries you can set for people visiting you and your newborn, and you have every right to set them, even if people grumble (which they shouldn’t). The most common are…
- Wash hands before handling baby.
- Don’t turn up unannounced.
- Don’t kiss baby due to the HPV risk.
- Don’t tell us how to parent!
These are all pretty reasonable, right? You might feel uncomfortable in setting these boundaries, but remember that you have the right to be comfortable and secure, especially in the oh-so vulnerable and intimate time period that comes after having a baby.
Louise-Patricia told us; “I said they can come round if they give me notice and not to expect a cuppa unless they make it themselves.”
We hope that this guide has helped expectant and new parents to decide how they’ll introduce baby to their family!
Tell us about your own experiences in the comments. How did you decide when, where and who?
Love from Katie. Xx