So here I am, sat here at 3am holding my daughter close with tears filling my eyes…
The first few weeks of my little girls life were hard. She needed feeding around the clock and was impossible to put down. I was physically and mentally exhausted, little did I know I would be feeling the way I do now.
My baby has been sleeping through the night since around 3 months old (lucky I know) but the first few months are hard work. Your body has been through a traumatic event and your hormones are all over the place. You have this little person that needs you for everything. There was once a time when you turned the lights off and got into bed and slept. Now It’s just a nap.
I won’t lie I really struggled with no sleep. Hormones and feeling like I didn’t have a clue what I was doing really took its toll. Then one morning I woke up, looked at my phone and it was 8am! What’s happened did I not hear her? Is she OK? Ahh she’s fine! The first night she slept through was amazing. I felt amazing, I was a new woman! From that day my baby girl was sleeping through the night and I was so happy!
Then tonight happened. My baby has woke up at 4am, I assume It’s because she has been teething the past few days so is quite unsettled. But I never ever thought I would feel how I do right now. I feel guilty for not treasuring the night times with my girl, everybody is asleep, the TV is off, I have nothing that needs doing and nowhere to go It’s an amazing feeling.
She’s so warm and peaceful I could easily sit and stare at her for hours just watching her sleep! I am so in love! I feel so guilty for not feeling this way in the first weeks, I feel guilty for trying to get her back in her Moses basket as quickly as possible. I realise that this is such an amazing time which I will never get back. Just me and my daughter, how could I ever feel the way I did?
I wanted to write this I guess because it is hard work, but also as a reminder It’s not forever. Cherish these moments because in a blink of an eye your little baby will be all grown up and independent!