DISCLAIMER- These words were written entirely by myself after being awaken 6 times during the night for feeds and bum changes etc. If there are typos I am sure you will get over it eventually.
Yep you guessed it, another list blog. What can I say, I’m a woman, and what woman doesn’t love a good old numbered list?! Anyway enough about the list thing …
Since releasing the big news of pregnancy right up until now carrying around my nearly 4 month old baby boy in the supermarket, or at a party, or some get together somewhere, I’m only starting to desensitise myself to the idea that everyone (be it mums, dads, people without babies, people with animals for babies) everyone has an opinion. A view on pregnancy and childhood that they really feel the need to share with me. So let’s start in order with pregnancy first shall we?
Here are the things people say to parents, that although might be true, still grind your gears.
1- ‘WOW, your bump is massive. Sure It’s not twins?’
Again for the 20th time, nope just the one. But seriously thank you for confirming my resemblance to a beluga whale. Top marks on your perception dick head.
2- ‘WOW, your bump is tiny. Are you sure your eating enough? Your not dieting are you?’
Another size remark. Bumps come in all shapes and sizes. This is never acceptable and 99% of the time always offensive!
3- ‘Congratulations! You must be ready to pop!’
I’m 22 weeks with another 18 weeks left. But thanks for making me awkwardly correct you in public.
4- ‘Cheesecake. Do you think you should be eating that?’
Oh sorry, I didn’t know you where the food police? Im such a rebel. Best lock me up now and throw away the key before I head for The Gorgonzola.
5- ‘You think your losing sleep now, wait until the baby arrives!’
Nothing is worse than telling a hormonal pregnant woman that the foreseeable future is going to be even worse than what you are painfully enduring right now.
6- ‘Noah.. Oh that’s a lovely name, my brother’s friend’s cousin has a DOG named Noah’ ‘I once knew a Noah, he’s in prison now’ ‘Noah? But everyone is calling their child that?’
7- ‘Your having a girl, I can tell by the shape of your bump!’
Really can you?! Since when did you have a PHD in baby gender prediction? Ps. It’s a boy.
8- ‘Oh you really shouldn’t be picking up that box/ walking/ eating that/ drinking that/ talking about that/ inhaling that/ touching that’
So I’m guessing all im left with is wrapping myself up in bubble wrap and hybernating for the duration of the next 9 months.
9 – ‘You look so tired. Are you feeling ok?’
Im feeling kind of .. pregnant. But honestly so glad you asked.
10- ‘Have you had your baby yet?’ ‘How about now?’ ‘Still no baby!?’
No shit! He will come when he’s ready, not when my due date says he will.
11- ‘Congratulations? Wow! 8 pound 15! That must have hurt!’
The last time I checked, labour and childbirth tend to hurt regardless to the size and weight of the baby. Hardly a walk in the park for any woman!
12- ‘How was the labour? Long? Pain relief? Stitches? ‘Natural delivery?’
Do you want to know what colour underwear I was wearing and how much I ate that day too? Or is that still not informative enough for you? I honestly got asked these questions off total strangers when they saw Noah as a new born!
13- ‘Looks just like his daddy, looks nothing like you!’
Your only the 739262628292th person to say that to me today.
14- ‘ONLY 3 months old! He’s MASSIVE! My cousin’s baby is 7 months old and way smaller than him!’
So many people commented on his size. Be it a large or small baby, people love making a good comparison!
15- ‘Is IT a boy or a girl?’
For a moment there I thought the blue pants and ‘daddy’s little boy’ shirt may have given it away.. obviously not.
16- ‘How’s he sleeping?’
Funnily enough like a baby (however the phrase isn’t as ‘dreamy’ as people make it out to be!)’
17- ‘Is he sleeping through yet? He should be sleeping through by now’
You’ve watched 2 episodes of super nanny and suddenly now you think your a baby sleep consultant.
18- ‘That is a very abnormal sound he is making, have you got it checked out?’
There’s nothing quite like embedding the sense of fear and impending doom into a new mum that something isn’t quite right with her baby.
19- ‘He’s a cryer isn’t he’
Maybe he just doesn’t like you ‘LOL’
20 – ‘Oh he’s crying, ‘must be hungry!’
You know the breast isn’t the answer to everything (but when in doubt I suppose!)
21- ‘Your having that long off work?’ Or ‘Your going back to work so soon?!’
Its a mum’s decision when or if they go back to work after a child. Next time try not to sound so judgemental when you ask the question.
22- ‘Are you enjoying your ‘time off’ ‘
Time off? A day in the office would be time off right now. Maybe we should swap for a day?
23- ‘When are you going to have another one?’
I would appreciate letting my wounds heal in the southern region before even contemplating a ‘number 2 baby’ thank you
24- ‘You will have a bad back if you keep carrying him like that’
Don’t worry, he already broke my back during pregnancy.
25- ‘He must be teething’
My nipples will decide to diagnose when that starts, not some stranger that saw my baby with his hands in his mouth salivating.
So there you go! Just a few from my experience and rants I have also heard from fellow mums too. I believe the answer to the problem is just don’t bother saying anything to a pregnant woman, unless it’s how beautiful she looks. Every else may just offend her with the added hormones of pregnancy. Oh, and when the baby arrives, all you need to say is ‘your doing a great job mummy’. Leave the rest to us. We know what we are doing, and if we need your professional input you will hear about it!
Please share any other things people have said to you too. The lists could go on! Being a new mum and learning from this experience, I will be sure to be careful what I say to pregnant woman and new mums in future too xox