Toddler Birthday Party Etiquette Tips

I love birthdays! Baking cakes, wrapping presents and decorating are all things I love to do. For her birthdays up until now, we’ve had some lovely family birthday teas for my little girl and I’ve But when my toddler started receiving invites to birthday parties for her nursery playmates, I was actually a little nervous. For her and me! I wasn’t quite ready for my baby to grow up so quickly and I’m not totally sure I’m ready to host ‘proper’ birthday parties either. If you’re starting to see the paper invites land in your little one’s backpack, here’s what I’ve learned about toddler birthday party etiquette so far….

Make Sure You RSVP

This might seem like an obvious one, after all, it’s a common courtesy and takes a few moments, but when you’re mental load is off the scale remembering to RSVP for parties can be missed. We tend to stick party dates straight on the calendar and fire off a response text straight away, but if the invite has come via social media, I must admit it’s taken us a little longer to let the host know our plans. I’ve not yet been on the other side as a host yet but I understand that sending an RSVP is important for things like food, games or restricted numbers on certain activities, so I’m hoping not to drop the ball on this in the future.

Don’t Worry Too Much About Gifts

Gifts aren’t always expected at parties and they definitely aren’t worth worrying about at this age. It’s nice to give something thoughtful but it’s true that little ones often enjoy the wrapping paper the most! Luckily, before our first invite landed I’d read some great birthday party buying tips from the parents in the Bump, Baby & You Facebook community. These helped me to get some lovely gifts without blowing my budget. How?

Firstly, I bought a set of some of my daughter’s favourite books on sale at the Book People here*, these retail at £6.99 each if bought separately and are really lovely books. We chose Pip and Posy, which are lovely books for toddlers and with 7 in the pack the books cost just £1.71 each! I’ve also heard lots of mums say they take advantage of the Works 10 for £10 book bundles*. These books would make nice gifts on their own, but we added in little items like purses, hair clips or little toys picked up in sales. We now have a little box in the cupboard for stashing away bargain finds for birthdays and when it comes to wrapping, my little girl helps to pick something out the box she thinks her friend would like. I love stocking up bits and bobs in sales like ELC’s clearance and offers*.

Party Food Can Be Whatever You want

If you’ve been dreading putting on a child’s birthday party because food is not your thing, worry not! Expectations around food definitely depend on the time of the party, though it’s great to pop a note on the invitation to let people know what will be provided. We’ve been to lovely parties mid-afternoon where there little snacks like crisps, cakes, fruit and drinks and to get togethers happening around meal times where a traditional party tea or sit down hot meal like fish fingers and chips. I’ve always popped a few snacks of my own in my bag in case there was anything she didn’t like, or I got hungry and so far, it’s all gone to plan.

Activities are Good

My little girl is only 2.5 and so she’s only just learning about playing with others and the social rules around it. I’ll be honest; I’ve found it hard sometimes watching her try to play with others at parties when other groups have been formed. It tugs at the heartstrings a little if they’re left out or look a little lost. Do from this point of view, it seems to work really well when there’s a toddler birthday party activity like a little craft project or entertainer to join in with that keeps them all occupied. Soft play and bouncy castles are great for letting them burn off steam but I’m still not certain they work at a very young age. Plus, if there are older siblings or child relatives around, small toddlers can get bumped easily. I may or may not be prone to helicopter mum behaviour though!

Who to Invite

It’s been extra lovely to receive invitations for my daughter’s little group of friends at the nursery that she attends two days per week. So far, the attendees at parties she has been to were made up of a small group of nursery friends plus family. However, I’ve heard from other mums that it’s quite common to get whole of class invites during pre-school and reception years. I think generally speaking either goes as long as there are not a few girls and boys excluded. And if you would like to keep numbers down you might choose a toddler birthday party venue with an activity rather than hosting a bigger party at home.

As we’ve not yet hosted, I’ve yet to find out the exact party etiquette for bringing siblings along to parties. After all, it’s not exactly easy to leave a babe in arms at home and you can’t always find childcare for older siblings at weekends either. The consensus seems to be that you should always ask in advance with older kids at the very least. And while it’s pretty obvious you should always stay at parties with young children, you should never assume it’s okay to leave kiddies at a party without asking!

Party Bags for Toddlers

Putting something in a bag is an easy way to make it 100% more enticing to a toddler. Use a bag with pretty colours and patterns on the outside and you can guarantee you’re onto a winner. What I’m trying to say is that party bag contents are not hugely important and are really just ‘nice to haves’. My little girl has most definitely been most interested in the icing and sprinkles on the piece of birthday cake wrapped up inside. Parents naturally differ on what type of sweets or chocs they are comfortable with their little one eating, so I’ve also fished out a few things she wouldn’t usually eat without her noticing and she’s been none the wiser. While she’s always been super keen to get hold of her party bag (particularly the one with the sparkly unicorn on the front), she’s luckily been equally good at saying thank you for her bag and the invite too. And as a parent, it’s oh-so-lovely to see.

Has your little on been to their first friend’s birthday party yet? Or are you planning a party of your own? Let us know about your experiences below.