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Mum Problems

Mother of Three Breaks the Internet with her Kid-Free Bath

A mother of three from Bristol has reported a phenomenon which has drawn attention from media around the globe.

37 year old Kate Muswell, a mother of three under-fives, ran herself a hot bath on the evening of Thursday 12th October. She reportedly then spent 17 minutes soaking in the freestanding tub without a single one of her children coming in for a shit.

Since the story broke on Friday morning, parents worldwide have been clamouring to extract any morsels of advice from Ms Muswell, keen to replicate her solitary bathing experience. Kate has been inundated with requests to appear on talk shows in the United States, has given several high profile radio interviews and has revealed today to her 1.3 million new Instagram followers, that she has been offered a three book deal with Penguin. 

We sent our reporter Hope Springs-Eternal along to meet Kate and find out exactly how this miracle came about.

Hope: Kate, I bet you never imagined when you ran that bath last Thursday that your life would change so dramatically?

Kate: I never imagined I’d ever have a bath without someone shitting in the same room as me Hope. I genuinely never thought that would happen again. I’d written that part of my life off you know?

Hope: I can’t imagine the relief you must feel. And the reaction’s been amazing hasn’t it? Parents from Bristol to Bolivia are desperate to hear how you did it? Can you tell us your secret?

Kate: Well, my book publisher has advised me to keep my cards very close to my chest. I can’t just give all that information away for free… what I will say though is it involved Paw Patrol… and hypnosis.

Hope: Wow. I for one cannot wait to read this book. Have you decided yet what it might be called?

Kate: The working title is “How to have a bath without your kid sitting on the toilet telling you boring stories about their day whilst straining for a shit.” 

Hope: Wow. It sounds like it’ll be quite emotional.

Kate: I know. I just want to really inspire people and give something back to other women you know. I’m just an ordinary girl from Bristol. And I’m living proof that if you keep the faith, dreams really can come true.

Kate Muswell’s book will be released in all good bookshops at an extortionate price just in time for Christmas.

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