Mum Calls Other Mums 'Lazy' For Not Going Back To Work

A woman has triggered a heated debate after branding other mums lazy for not going straight back to work.

After giving birth, it's fair to say that it can be incredibly hard to arrange going back to the workplace; childcare costs, navigating schedules if breastfeeding, finding hours that suit family life... and that's before we consider how exhausted we may feel with developmental leaps, sleeping being all over the place, and needing time off work when our baby is poorly.

If you're able to go straight back to work, by choice or by financial urgency, then that is absolutely fine - but is it fair to judge others as 'lazy' for not going straight back to work? Jaelyn Cox has come under fire for her comments calling other mums lazy for not going back to work straight away!

Only Fans model Jaelyn, 29, told The Sun that she continued working 'days after' the birth of her baby - much to the discomfort of her partner - as she wants to give her children the best life. That's fair enough, especially considering that she is technically self employed therefore Maternity Allowance and Statutory Maternity Pay would be tricky to apply for and would only be a small amount per week.

However, Jaelyn's further comments are what have sparked outraged comments from other parents online. Telling other new mums to do the same as her, she went on to claim that those who don't are 'lazy and looking for an excuse'. She added that she didn't want to let becoming a mum 'take over' her life to protect her mental health, as well as sharing that she thinks it's important to go back to the gym and start dieting straight away to 'look good for your partner' so that they don't cheat - that's a whole new article in itself!

jaelyn-cox

Image credit: Jaelyn Cox

What did our community say?

We asked a group of parents in our online parenting community to share their experiences of going back to work;

Would they have been able to go back to work so quickly?
Is Jaelyn being unfair and not considering other people's circumstances?

In the most polite terms, it's safe to say that the response was unequivocally against Jaelyn. Many of the parents we spoke to agreed that it's ok to choose to go back to work quickly and many parents financially haven't got a choice, especially those who run a business or can't get maternity pay. If it works for them and their baby, and everyone is happy, then fabulous! However, there was definite offence taken at the accusation of being 'lazy and making excuses', particularly amongst the mums who had emergency caesareans, poorly babies, post natal depression and whose childcare would have cost more than their earnings until the subsidised 15-30 hours kicked in!

A couple of comments commended Jaelyn for her enterprising mindset but pointed out that she should be more considerate of mums who've not had an easy time giving birth, and those whose job cannot be done from the comfort of their own home in front of a camera. Imagine doing a 12 hour shift in a care home after being up all night with a cluster feeding newborn! Not really comparable, right?

Bonnie told us; "I think going to work is a break! No mom is ever lazy! Nobody should judge anyone, moms should be supporting each other regardless if they work or not…."

Emma pointed out; "I don't think she's wrong for going back to work and being proud of that, but she's missing the point that being an OnlyFans model isn't like, working in a really physically and mentally taxing job, she's doing it at home saving money on childcare and not having to factor in a commute or transport costs, so surely her own situation isn't even comparable to other mums? She's also seriously rude, think she's attention seeking."

Georgia told us; "I think she’s lazy for not wanting to stay at home and take care of her baby.
It’s not lazy staying at home people suffer with post natal depression and what does she think when men have to take two week off with the baby too, is that lazy? Also let’s be honest after giving birth regardless to natural or c section women’s flowers aren’t blooming at that point are they?! I don’t know how she managed to go to work to be honest."

Sophie shared; "If you’re in a position to be off then why wouldn’t you want to watch them grow and form their little personalities? See their milestones, form a solid secure bond? After my 1st my work days were my break so not sure how a 24/7 job being mum over a 37 hour week job makes you lazy?!"

Dani told us; "It's not lazy, baby days pass so quick and you never get them back."

Louise-Patricia shared; "It's not lazy, you need time to recover. Will add I'm not getting full time off, I've got a major meeting the day after my planned section I can't miss sadly."

Jay told us; "I think if you're ready you go back you do and if you're not you don't! I'm in a position where I can and was ready to thanks to easy going labours, I'm lucky to get the best of both worlds but I have the best work set up. Shouldn't matter to anybody else what people choose to do!"

(All opinions are those of the commenter, not of Bump, Baby & You)

Our verdict...

Whether a mum decides that they want to go back to work quickly after giving birth, has to make the decision due to financial difficulties, or decides to take their maternity leave. every single situation is valid and we have so much respect for all parents in all walks of life.

We definitely think that, whilst Jaelyn is certainly demonstrating a fabulous work ethic and business accumen, she's applying her own situation to other new mums which really, isn't comparable at all. Hardly anyone is able to work do their job role from home, and as others have pointed out, she won't have the same costs and time expectations as a typical new mum whose job was based in an office, restaurant or other demanding environment.

Fundamentally, our take on it is this; different mums are ready to go back to work at different times, different mums NEED to go back to work at different times, we certainly disagree that a mum is lazy if they choose to stay at home with their baby, especially if they've had a tough pregnancy and birth. However, we support every new mum who wants to get back into the workplace. There should be no judgement or sense of superiority either way!

Other articles...