skip to main content

Have you downloaded the Bump, Baby & You app yet?

aita-cover
Parents

AITA: MIL Refuses To Hand Baby Back For Feeds

A mum has taken to Reddit to share her woes with her monster - we mean mother - in-law.

"AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?"

Many of the parents in our online community share in-law stress with us for advice, so it's safe to say that this poster will have legions of people wholeheartedly agreeing that she is, without doubt, NTA - 'not the asshole'. However, this situation seriously takes the biscuit! This new mummy took to Reddit for some serious advice after a horrible experience with her husband's mother, to which her reaction was harshly criticised by her husband...

Here's her full post...

aita

Read the full post here - credit to Reddit

What was the general consensus in the response section?

We're relieved to say that the vast majority of responses were absolutely outraged for the poor new mother, whilst many did concede that the new grandmother, whilst being overbearing, perhaps didn't have bad intentions and is just very attached to her new grandbaby. We can empathise either way but fundamentally, is it acceptable to constantly resist handing a baby on a medically important feeding schedule over when they need their next feed? We'd say not.

As for daddy... well. We're pretty sure that you'll all agree that his response is actually mentally abusive and incredibly toxic. No one needs that attitude, especially not a mere five weeks after giving birth, and the comments section was on FIRE with over 3800 comments urging the new mummy to chuck the man in the bin, along with his problematic mother.

The top rated comment was pretty on-point...

"NTA. Pack your gear and take baby to your parents.

Re think your relationship as well, who the hell speaks to their wife like that especially after having baby.

Protect your mental/physical health at all cost.."

We agree with looseylucy11. We also had to share this comment by DragonCelia, which we felt was absolutely true...

"OP, your husband is prioritizing his mother's emotional wants over your 5 week old baby's physical needs. GET OUT NOW. This is only going to escalate, and he's already shown his own child isn't his top priority. That's not normal, that's TERRIFYING."

Our Verdict...

As mothers, as partners/wives, and as women who stick up for other women, we're horrified at the situation this new mummy has found herself in and think that both she and her baby deserve far better than this toxicity.

It's all fair and well being an overly-enthusiastic mother-in-law and being so effusive that you unintentionally rub the new mum up the wrong way, but thousands of people agreed that her conduct goes over the line of acceptability, and her son (the new daddy) has not only failed to defend his partner, he's also verbally abused her and invalidated her feelings. Gaslighting is emotional abuse - even if it's physical, no form of abuse is ever ok.

Find out more about getting help in an abusive relationship here.

Other articles to read...

Here for you...
From trying to conceive to the preschool years and beyond, we’re right here with you.