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Pregnancy announcements, whilst joyful, can sometimes spark negative emotions and hostility.
Usually, this will be due to problems like infertility and baby loss; whilst it's understandable for someone to be sensitive to baby announcements from friends and relatives if they're struggling to become pregnant themselves, most people would agree that it is unfair to expect people to 'walk on eggshells' and not share their news! On the rare occasion, you may come across a particularly irrational and unreasonable person who inserts themselves into your happy news and makes demands that make you say... wow!
One expectant mum took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask, is she the asshole for saying NO to her stepsister's bizarre request?
For context; the poster is already a mum of 10, happily married and intentionally creating the large family of her dreams. Her prerogative, right? Her stepsister, with similar dreams, has heartbreakingly struggled to become pregnant, with IVF leading them to a dead end. Read the full post below...
Read the full thread here - credit to Reddit.
What was the general consensus?
The majority of voters on this thread voted that the poster is absolutely NTA - not the asshole - in this awkward situation. Sympathy for her stepsister was abundant, as infertility is an incredibly difficult topic to navigate and of course, many of you will relate to that feeling of sadness when someone close to you is able to become pregnant whilst you're relegated to expensive and invasive treatments that often don't work. On the flip side, is it a 'normal' request to make of someone, especially if they're actually happy to be pregnant? Many were quick to point out that already having had 10 babies doesn't 'devalue' this new baby or mean that the mum is 'selfish' for not 'sharing' (for want of a better word) with her stepsister. The top comment was...
"NTA Tell them they can have the 22 year old. /s (sarcasm)"
We did chuckle at that! A lot of comments were furious at how rude the poster's stepsister was, calling her out as 'presumptuous', 'entitled', and 'crazy'. Another of our favourite comments dropped the mic with...
"Yah, children aren’t commodities to trade. Weird flex from Family. (As someone who doesn’t want kids, 10 kids seems like a lot)."
Our verdict...
We're pretty resolute that the poster is completely NTA here, and her stepsister, as sorry as we feel for her in her situation, needs some therapy. It is NOT a normal thing to ask of someone, particularly if they're actively wanting to have more children intentionally, and it is certainly NOT normal to treat babies as something to 'trade' or share! We fully understand that the stepsister wants a baby with all of her heart and the emotions will have fuelled her tirade of abuse but it's also inexcusable behaviour and just not normal. We'd definitely advise some professional support!
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