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AITA: Husband Named Baby Without My Input

Have you ever disagreed with your child's other parent about their prospective names?

It can be seriously tricky territory to navigate! If your partner has their heart set on a specific name that you loathe, and you can't come to a compromise, what are you supposed to do? Babies in the UK need to be named by the six week registration deadline, and whilst names can be changed at a later date, it's time and hassle. Some parents have, shockingly, experienced the other parent using underhand tactics - how would you feel if they went behind your back and signed the certificate with THEIR preferred name without agreeing with you first?

One angry new mum took to the Reddit AITA (am I the asshole) board to ask, is she the asshole for refusing to speak to her husband until he changes the name that he sneakily signed the birth certificate with? His reasons for his preferred name make this situation so much more complex than it appears at face value - read the post below...

aita-sneaky

Read the full post here - credit to Reddit.

What was the general consensus?

Overall, the majority of readers voted the poster NTA (not the asshole), but expressed sympathy for the heartbreaking situation influencing her husband's desire to use his deceased brother's name. Many pointed out that, despite these circumstances, it would be grossly unfair on other future children that they may have, and it's problematic for her husband to want to use the name to ensure that their child is favoured over others! The top rated comment was...

"NTA. If you have more children, how are they going to feel watching their brother be the favourite because of his name? Put a stop to this now. Is there a way for you to change the certificate? Why does your husband have to be the one to change it?"

Our verdict...

This is a seriously difficult situation and we have so much sympathy for her husband for the loss of his brother. However, his motives for using his brother's name are worrying. When a deceased relative's name is used to name a baby, it's usually in tribute to that beloved person - the reasons mentioned in this post are unsavoury, and as others pointed out, what about future grandchildren? If the poster's husband wanted to use that name purely in tribute to his dearly departed brother, that would be a totally different situation and perhaps the poster would seem unreasonable for not negotiating a compromise, but in the scenario described in this Reddit post, we feel like the poster is making the correct decision.

As for taking advantage of his wife's vulnerability after medical complications during the birth in order to get his own way... these actions have left us reeling! It could be argued that this is actually really manipulative behaviour overall and we think that not only is the poster 'NTA' for not talking to her husband, we wouldn't blame her for packing his bags. Overall, ensuring that his child is favoured over others benefits HIM (daddy) more than anyone - parenting is expensive, and we think that daddy is more motivated by the potential financial benefits and 'approval' than actually paying a genuinely heartfelt tribute to his deceased brother. The fact that his brother is deceased is being used as emotional blackmail to make his wife feel bad about saying no, and that's cruel.

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