Baby loss is something that 1 in 4 couples will, very sadly experience in their lifetime.
The arrival of a rainbow baby is often described as the ‘rainbow after a storm’; a metaphor which makes perfect sense to us. After the heartbreak of losing a baby, the arrival of their sibling can bring hope and sunshine to the lives of bereaved parents.
We have lots of ‘rainbow parents’ over in our online community, who were kind enough to share their stories with us. We hope that this evokes some hope in anyone out there who is struggling after baby loss!
Read Nicola’s story here – she has since had rainbow twins and we’ll add her story to this article at a later date!
in March 2017 we found out we were expecting, we were so happy. Everything seemed to be ok until my 12 week scan when they told me my hcg levels were more than double what they should be and my papp-a level was below half of what it should be. They also told me our baby had a 0.3% chance of having Down’s syndrome & gave us our options. We told them it wouldn’t matter either way they were still our baby. So I had to go back at 14 weeks for a scan as my placenta was abnormal, they went on to tell me I had blood clots in my placenta. The consultant prescribed me some aspirin and told me he didn’t want to see me again until I was 28 weeks. I trusted him as he’s a professional and I had no reason to think any different.
I got to my 16 week midwife appointment and they couldn’t find our babies heartbeat. Tried and tried. Sent us on a break to drink water and walk around. Went back & still nothing so they sent us to the hospital. We was joking around in the waiting room saying our baby was just being lazy. Until our whole world came crashing down once they called us in. They looked at the screen whilst they scanned me & called in another doctor to then tell me the words that I can still hear like it was yesterday. “I’m really sorry but there’s no heartbeat”. I had never felt pain like it, cried more than I thought I could ever cry. All the what ifs & the things we were looking forward to. I then had to talk about next steps which was taking a tablet 48 hours before & having to be induced to give birth to our baby. Which I really didn’t want to do. So on the 10th of July at half past 12 at night I gave birth to our baby, who we named Angel.
Angel stayed with us overnight and the following day they was blessed & taken for a post mortem. The months after are a blur. I couldn’t eat, sleep & think about nothing else other than what we had lost. So in the September we were shocked & scared to find out we was expecting our rainbow baby. At this point we were still waiting on the post mortem results from Angel so we was so scared in case it was something That was likely to happen again. So finally after a couple months of being pregnant and not knowing we finally got the date to go to an appointment for the results. I was relieved but worried when that date came round, but as soon as the consultant came in the first thing he said was “ as you’re pregnant again I wanted to reassure you, it’s not something that’s likely to occur again”. With that we breathed a sigh of relief & listened to actually what happened to our baby which we found out was a girl. She had a condition called Triploidy – which means she had a triple set of genes & triple set of chromosomes. Which is why she didn’t survive and all my readings at the beginning were so high & low and all mixed up.
He went on to explain that is also the reason why my placenta was like it was – large & full of clots due to the chromosome abnormality which happened right at the beginning. He assured us it was something that happened at conception & it was out of anyone’s hands. He went on to explain that if she had survived longer she wouldn’t of made it full term or not long after birth. She would of had webbed fingers & one of her arms was webbed to her body. When I saw her after I delivered her I had never seen anything so perfect. Her ears were perfectly formed her little fingers & toes were perfect. But The consultant told us she wouldn’t of had no quality of life, as hard as it was we finally had answers.
They asked for permission to use some of the tissue they tested for university studies, which we agreed to, they can help find a reason why this happens then I’m glad I could help. As time went on being pregnant we found out we was expecting another girl! Our rainbow really did help heal our broken hearts, don’t get me wrong there’s a hole in our hearts that will never be healed but having our rainbow girl really did help. We worried so much through the second pregnancy, but on the 3rd of June 2018 – after losing her heartbeat in the delivery room so much so they had to put a clip on her head. Our beautiful girl made an entrance! And if we didn’t have her I don’t know where we would be today. I think about our first daughter (because she will always be our first child), she would have been 3 now. We always wonder what she would have been like and if she would have been anything like her baby sister. Everything happens for a reason I guess… I just wanted to share my story. Here’s a picture of us with our rainbow girl… who helped heal us in many ways she will never understand.
I have a little rainbow after 2 losses! x
My beautiful rainbow boy, Ollie, is now 10 weeks. This was taken on Monday, he loved his first baby massage class…
I had a missed miscarriage in September 2018. I found out I was pregnant and had some spotting, went for a scan and there was our little “blueberry” with a little heartbeat ticking away at 5 weeks 6 days. Sent me home and asked me to return for another scan the following week to double check. The weekend in-between scans I had another bleed, rang EPU and they said to hang on for my next scan (in 3 days) as everything was okay the last scan it was “unlikely to be bad news” so I went along for my next scan (alone as I naively thought everything was fine) and that’s when everything changed.
The sonographer went and got someone else, I knew straight away there was something not right. Then she dropped the bombshell, “I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat and there’s been massive deterioration” so from what I can guess the baby’s heart stopped when I had the bleed at the weekend. I was numb. My partner was at work, I was completely alone in the hospital. I was told they “preferred to let things happen naturally” so I was sent home with an information pack, to wait for my baby to miscarry. 10 days passed, and nothing had happened, I was still carrying my baby round. It was complete torture, did they get it wrong? Was everything actually okay? I was took in for another scan and had to go through the whole event again.
They then booked me in for medical management to pass the baby, again I was sent home and it happened the same evening. I was heartbroken, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. There was NO support from the hospital other than an information leaflet, no follow up, no investigation, nothing. I felt completely alone. Fast forward 2.5 months (Christmas Eve) and unbeknown to us, we conceived our baby girl. I had the most “unproblematic” pregnancy ever, every scan was perfect, no morning sickness, but the anxiety was almost too much at times. Every time she’d not moved for half an hour, panic. Every time I accidentally bumped my belly or sat down too quick, panic. Our baby girl was finally born at 41+6 on the 30th September 2019!
After 4 losses, polycystic ovaries diagnosis and endometriosis possibly, I have my rainbow boy!
Do you want to share your rainbow baby story with our followers? Email in at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can guest feature you!
Good luck to anyone out there who is wishing for their very own rainbow – we send all of our love and baby dust!
Love from Katie & Team BBY. Xx