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Parents

AITA: Mad My Baby Was Driven in Snowstorm

When it comes to our babies, their safety is paramount to us.

Parents everywhere will agree that keeping our children as safe as possible is so important, and whilst parents often have different ideas of what is 'safe' versus 'dangerous', it goes without saying that communication between parents is vital. If you plan to do something with your kids that is 'erring on the side of caution', you should at least consult their other parent first.

One new dad took to the Reddit AITA (am I the asshole) board to ask, is he the asshole for being mad that his 8 week old daughter was driven in a snowstorm by her mother?

In this tricky scenario, the baby's mum wanted to 'get out of the house' and go for food with a friend before the baby's dad got home from work. After calling and expressing his concerns, and pointing out that a 'state of emergency' had been declared in the area she was travelling to, he explained that the baby's mum hasn't spoken to him or helped out with the baby for 12 hours as he 'embarassed her'. Read the post below...

aitasnowstorm

Read the full post here - credit to Reddit.

What was the general consensus?

The overall majority voted this situation as 'no assholes here', with both parties in this situation being deemed to have had valid points. Lots of comments pointed out that the mum has studded winter tires and grew up in Alaska so is hardly a stranger to driving on snowy roads, and that she deserved to get out for a breather... but at the same time, dad is 'NTA' (not the asshole) too, as it's a perfectly normal fatherly instinct to be worried about his baby! The top comment said...

"NAH - I get your fears. However, I’m from western NY, where lake effect snow is king. If you grew up driving in REAL snow, you might be more confident in your car/abilities than the average joe.

Hell, If I didn’t drive every time there was a storm or state of emergency (which is usually made to cover the backroads, not main roads as well as to cover concerns over people freezing to death) I would have been stuck home for days to weeks on end. Go ice storms!"

Another commenter pointed out...

"She was cooped up with the baby for 8 weeks while the dude works. Of course she wanted to get out, too."

Our verdict...

We can see both sides here. We think that mum should have been willing to talk it out with the dad first, before making the decision to go out in potentially risky weather conditions, but it's understandable that she needed to get out of the house, and it's also understandable that dad was worried. Given mum's driving experience and studded winter tires, it's reasonable to point out that we can't avoid the roads every time the conditions are less than optimal - but it is also reasonable to want to avoid any risk whatsoever especially with the 'state of emergency'. Our verdict here is that neither parent is the asshole but that they could do with sitting and discussing future plans for similar situations so that a compromise is reached.

There isn't enough information in the post for us to know how rural these parents are, but it is fair to say that in some parts of the world, especially in rural areas of the USA, you drive, or you stay home. Public transport is much less common than it is here in the UK, other than in cities, so for new mums who feel cooped up at the expense of their mental health, we can only imagine how tough it must be.

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