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Telling your parents you are pregnant with their first grandchild should be a happy occasion. You'd expect excitement, well wishes and lots of questions on how you're feeling etc.
One Mum to be took to Reddits AITA (Am I The Asshole?) board after her parents didn't really take an interest in her good news.
Read the full thread below...
"I (27F) am an only child. I left the UK for work 5 years ago and in that time my dad’s sister’s daughter has gotten close to my parents. I have no relationship with her.
I FaceTimed my parents yesterday to tell them that I am pregnant (12 weeks) after being given the all clear by my doctor. I expected them to have an emotional reaction as they have been loudly expressing the fact they want a grandchild for years and they are in general pretty emotional people.
They did seem pleased but they both started grinning at each other and then turned and told me that my cousin H (21F) is also pregnant! I admit my face dropped because they didn’t even say congratulations before mentioning someone else’s pregnancy!
I tried to be positive and say how nice that was and then both mum and dad started talking about how many weeks she is (6) and how she’s having nausea and how excited she is for a baby and how they can’t wait to meet her baby. They did say it would be nice that our kids would be the same age but it felt tagged on and insincere.
My dad rang back in the evening, ostensibly to thank me for the flowers I had delivered to them, except he started getting angry with me and saying that both my parents had seen my face fall when they shared H’s news and that I was raised better than to be self centred. He said that just as I was sharing good news of my baby they wanted to share the good news of H’s baby.
The thing is they didn’t even ask how I’m feeling or how long ago I found out or indeed anything except the due date - to compare it to H’s.
I didn’t think I was an AH as I’m very close to my parents and I thought this was big deal but after my dad reading me the riot act I’m no longer so sure. AITA?"
Read the full Reddit thread here
What was the general consensus?
The poster was voted NTA (Not The Asshole). One of the top comments said:
"NTA I think your feelings are definitely valid and your parents acted poorly.
I’m not excusing their behavior at all, but maybe they’re “happier” about your cousin’s baby because she’s in the same place they are and they feel more “involved” in the process? I mean it’s totally wrong of them to act like this, but maybe that’s what’s going on in their head."
While another commented:
"OP, I think they were/are suffering from the empty nest syndrome after you left, and your cousin kind of filled that space.
However, regardless of it, it seems they really didn't care that much about your pregnancy.
I would say they make her a replacement to fill the gap left by your departure,so they feel more connected to her than to you.
This is not fair imho, so I am sorry for your experience.
Nta"
Our Verdict...
We can't blame the poster for being upset at her parents reaction, especially it being their first grandchild. Having your first baby is a huge thing, life changing, and you expect the support of your parents. So it's totally normal and justified to feel disheartened at their lack of congratulations and interest in the pregnancy, especially when they appear very interested in your cousins.
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