How to Handle the Terrible Twos - I'm Two But Not Terrible

Are you struggling with toddler tantrums and "terrible two" behavior? This viral perspective shift helps parents see the world through their toddler's eyes.

The "terrible twos" is a phrase every parent knows, but it doesn't have to be a negative experience. While the tantrums and the "no" phase are exhausting, they are also a sign of incredible brain development.

To help you navigate this stage, we have the famous poem that has helped thousands of mummies find peace, plus expert advice from Psychotherapeutic Counsellor Chanelle Sowden on why this age is actually a "terrific" milestone.

Quick Tips: Survival Guide for the Terrible Twos

• Pick Your Battles: If it isn’t dangerous, sometimes it’s okay to let the toddler "win."

• Consistency is Key: Keep boundaries the same every day to help them feel secure.

• Acknowledge Autonomy: Offer two choices (e.g., "The blue shirt or the red shirt?") to give them a sense of control.

• Focus on the "Why": Most tantrums at age two are caused by a lack of vocabulary to express big feelings.

Why Do We Call it the "Terrible Twos"?

The term "Terrible Twos" usually refers to the period between 18 and 30 months when a child begins to struggle between their reliance on adults and their desire for independence.

The Science of Toddler Behavior

Chanelle Sowden explains that at age two, a child's brain is growing faster than at any other time.

"At two, children are experiencing a surge in independence but lack the emotional regulation to handle it. When they say 'No,' they aren't being naughty—they are discovering they are a separate person from you for the first time," says Chanelle.

The Viral Poem: I’m Two, But I’m Not Terrible

Diary of a 2 year old:

Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me sad.

I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told “No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.” This made me feel frustrated.

I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, “No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.” This made me cry.

I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.” This made me want to run away.

Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told “no, not like that, like this…” I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks any more. I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it, I was told “no, don’t do that, you have to share.”

I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told “no, you’re fine, go play”.

I’m being told it’s time to pick up, I know this because someone keeps saying, “Go pick up your toys.” I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me….” What are you doing, why are you just standing there, pick up your toys…Now.”

I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up. I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go? I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move.

I lay down on the floor and cry.

When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told “no, you’re too little, let me do it.” This made me feel small.

I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying “here, try this, eat this…” and putting things in my face. I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.

I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me… because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.

I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs.

However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….

But, I do NOT know these things.

I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.

I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.

The poem was shared by US based Mommy blogger Mary Katherine Backstrom, you can see it on her Facebook page here.

FAQs: Dealing with Toddler Behavior at Age Two

How long do the "terrible twos" actually last?

While every child is different, most parents see a peak in challenging behavior between 24 and 36 months, with things settling down as the child reaches age three and gains better language skills.

How can I stop a toddler tantrum before it starts?

Prevention is often found in the "HALT" method. Check if your toddler is Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Addressing these physical needs can prevent 90% of meltdowns.

When should I seek help for my toddler's behavior?

If your child’s tantrums are frequent (multiple times a day), involve violence toward themselves or others, or if you feel you cannot cope, speak to your health visitor or GP.

Related: Is your toddler at the "screeching" stage? Read our expert guide on How to Deal With Toddler Screeching for more specific noise-reduction tips.