Written by Cath Saltern for her blog, The Honest Mum.
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I can see the fog slowly starting to disappear and I can feel my identity slowly creeping back. I’m slowly beginning to find myself again.
Whilst Motherhood is the greatest and most rewarding experience I’ve ever had, it’s also been very tough. A whole 17 months of extreme sleepless nights. Feeling totally out of control and feeling like time is quickly slipping away through my fingers. Missing my old life, my old job, my old body, my friends and although I live with him, my Husband.
With working and a toddler who hasn’t gone to sleep until nearly 9pm each night, then spending two hours of the night wide awake and still waking either side of that, it’s been very hard for Ry and I to make time for each other, let alone ourselves. I feel so guilty saying this but I really do miss those date nights we used to have. I miss those endless amounts of cuddles on the sofa and those exciting, spontaneous trips away. They seem such a distant memory now.
As a parent you do have to sacrifice those ‘used to haves’ and yes, that sacrifice is made totally worth it when you wake up each morning to that gorgeous smile from your 1.5 year old son. Watching him grow, develop and thrive even more each day is just the most incredible feeling. I love him dearly, and I wouldn’t have sacrificed all of that if I didn’t.
But I’ve realised that I deserve some me time too. I did lose myself for a while and I can now see how important it is to start introducing some balance back into my life. I am starting to feel more in control of my life again. My motivation is returning and I’m starting to feel like I have more time for myself, and Ry.
I have decided to give myself a daily three goal challenge. This challenge requires three things I would like to accomplish each day. Whether it’s to tackle some laundry, to shave my legs, to take Harry out on an adventure, to drink more water, to exercise…it could be anything.
I’ve only been doing this challenge since Friday but I already feel so much better. After a lot of perseverance and patience, we have successfully brought Harry’s bedtime forward, allowing us a couple of hours each evening to unwind and have some much needed us time. Each day I have managed a half an hour work out of either yoga, aerobics or a trip to my parents gym in their garage. Ry and I have also sat down every evening and watched an episode of a tv series together, sometimes whilst I have ironed…ironed!!! I never iron. I’ve cooked something new and also achieved housework chores that have been building for what feels a life-time.
The sense of achievement I get when I’ve accomplished these goals is amazing. It keeps me motivated and positive. It encourages balance and control back into my life, and I feel like me. Not just a Mummy, but a Wife and an individual.