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It can be emotional, seeing your ex starting a new family when you share kids, even if you're over them.
This is understandable really - you shared such an integral part of your lives and you'll forever be bonded by your shared children, and no matter how over them you are romantically, it can bring a lot of emotions to the surface seeing them start the next phase of their life. However, as one ex wife found out on Reddit, there are important boundaries that are formed at this point! There is a real limit on what you can and can't dictate to your ex and parent to your child, no matter how much it aggravates you.
The poster in question took to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask if she's in the wrong for being furious at her ex husband for choosing a complementary Frozen princess name; their daughter is Elsa, and he would like to name his new baby girl Anna!
Read the full post below...
"My (31F) ex husband (35M) got married less than six months ago with his girlfriend (25F) and she got pregnant very fast, recently he told me that they were having a girl.
I am a huge fan of the movie Frozen, so when our daughter (6F) was born I wanted to name her Elsa and my husband agreed to that. I know it is a little dumb to name your kids after things like that but it is not an super unusual or ugly name, it is pretty and it means a lot to me. My husband and I divorced when our daughter was 3, we don't hate each other but we are not best friends either.
The issue with the new baby is that he explained to me that after he told his new wife the story behind the name of Elsa, she proposed that their daughter should be named Anna, so they could be sisters like in the movie. For me it is totally unfair that they are stealing my naming process from me like that. What if I have another daughter? It would have been perfect to name her Anna and now I wouldn't be able to do it without it looking like I am stealing from them. My husband doesn't even like Frozen that much. He always said his favorite Disney animated movie was Bolt. I don't know if the mother likes Frozen but I am totally sure she doesn't like it as much as me.
I demanded to him that they choose another name but he thinks I am acting crazy. I called my divorce lawyer but she doesn't think there is anything we can do about this. My mother just laughed at me. I feel so defeated. My sadness turned into anger and, in an impulse of rage, I called my ex husband. I told him that if they insisted with using that name, I would made everything I could to sabotage the relationship between our daughter and theirs, so they never were real sisters like Elsa and Anna. He got really angry and said horrible things to me.
I immediately regretted saying what I said and it is not true, I would never do that, but this whole situation has been so horrible for me and now he is really angry too. I think that I am ultimately in the rigth about why they shouldn't use that name but I was wrong in saying what I said. I want to insist on them picking another name but without going too far.
Am I the Asshole?"
Find the original post here on Reddit.
Image credit: Disney
What was the general consensus?
Reddit readers jumped straight in to share their thoughts, and it's safe to say that the poster was most definitely judged to be the asshole in this situation, with her maturity being called into question by multiple Reddit users.
The top rated comment was short and sweet;
"YTA. Take a cue from your favorite movie and let it go."
Another great comment we spotted;
"All of this, not to mention that she literally says, "What if I have another daughter?!" "What if?!" Wow. Talk about entitled! OP has an opportunity to have some fun with her daughter and her daughter's new sister. Hell, if she grew up a little she could even indulge her love of the movie by playing up their name connection with little gifts or something. She says she and her ex don't hate each other so imagine being mature about it and having a true blended family. I don't mean to imply that they have to be like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, just that it's possible to be happy for your ex and even encourage the connections her daughter will have. I hope OP grows up."
Our verdict...
We definitely think that this is a real 'first world problem' situation - it's understandable if the poster wanted to use the name Anna for any future children she has, but in perspective, is it REALLY that extreme? Did it really warrant threats to sabotage the sisterly relationship between the two girls, over a name? Absolutely not. We don't like to invalidate anyone's feelings, but in this case, this mum needs to act more maturely and profusely apologise to her ex husband, and hope that her daughter (and her daughter's future sister) never hear about this mortifying story.
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