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Being able to trust those we leave our babies with is crucial to our sanity and of course the safety of our children!
No one needs to be stressed out and distracted at work, worried that their little one could get into danger - it's fundamental that they're left with someone who we know to be safe, nurturing and sensible. One unfortunate new mum has taken to the Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) board to ask if she's out of order for 'pretending' to kidnap her own baby after catching wind that her husband is not behaving responsibly when caring for their baby when she is at work! This caused her husband to have a panic attack, with her family turning on her for her actions.
Read the post below...
"I 29 f recently started working again after having my daughter (4m). Daycare is too expensive so my husband 35m reluctantly agreed to stay home. It’s important to know that he’s been unemployed since 2021. He receives benefits. It’s also important to know that he’s extremely lazy. He doesn’t cook, clean, or help out in any way. I was nervous about leaving her home with her father but I had no choice. When I came back from work she was clean, and sleeping. The next few times I came home he was either playing with her, feeding her, or out for a walk with her. I was happy. A few days ago my neighbor told me that as soon as I leave the baby cries and she cries for hours. My neighbor said that she knocked on our door and he finally answered it. He was sleeping. I concluded that he sleeps all day and right. Before I come home he pretends to care for her. I decided to take the day off of work, i left home at my regular time. Waited 30 minutes and then went home. Sure enough he was knocked out sleep with his stupid noise cancelling headphones on. I went to my daughters room, scooped her up and took her to my friends house. I waited about 2hours and I finally called him to tell him that I was coming home early. He called me back saying that he can’t find the baby. He told me that he was going to call the police but before he did I told him what I did. He called me an asshole and a lot of other words too. When I got home his mother was there “calming his nerves” because he has a panic attack. She also called me an asshole. My husband decided to sleep at her house. Family members are telling me that I’m a terrible person. I know that it was extreme but I don’t know if I would consider myself to be an asshole
*English isn’t my native language sorry about the grammar"
Find the main post here on Reddit.
What was the general consensus?
This mum was voted to be absolutely NTA (Not The Asshole), with thousands of readers jumping to her defence over her decision to take their baby to a place of safety whilst daddy slept wearing his noise-cancelling headphones. The top rated comment was;
"Sleeping with noise cancelling headphones as the only adult in the home caring for a 4M old?! Absolutely NTA."
Our verdict...
We had to read and re-read the post to ensure we'd fully understood it - the dad was sleeping, with NOISE CANCELLING headphones, but this mum is the asshole, according to their family?! Ok, it was very harsh to not at least leave him a note within the house in an easy to find spot, that he'd see after a brief panic, but she allowed him to genuinely believe that their baby had been kidnapped for a short space of time and no matter how lazy this man is, we cannot blame him for his reaction of panic and anger! However, nor can we blame the mum for her fury - this seems to have been the proverbial 'straw that broke the camel's back'.
We're going against the grain here and saying that they're both the assholes - but the dad much more so. His actions have been demonstrably proven to be dangerous to the welfare of their tiny baby - whether it was a genuine kidnapping, or something like baby choking, a seizure, vomiting, there's so many scenarios that spring to mind. However, as much as we empathise with mum, a note would have at least allowed him a well-deserved jolt of panic, without the extreme terror he experienced.
In the comments, mum has stated that their local daycare won't take their baby until she's 6 months of age but her mum, sister and friends will be helping out in the meantime which we would say is a sensible decision!
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