skip to main content

Have you downloaded the Bump, Baby & You app yet?


AITA: Told Gran Not To Touch Bump

It's very normal to not want people to touch your baby bump, we're sure you'll all agree

After all, our personal space is important and many people don't appreciate being pawed at without permission! It's very normal to feel uneasy about this, particularly if it's someone we're not related to or close with. However, where do we draw the line with WHO can touch our bump? 

A new mum took to Reddit to ask, is she the asshole for asking her grandmother to not touch her bump?

The expectant mother is due her first baby, and is very self-conscious of her size due to her 'fatphobic' grandmother who 'always points out my size at family gatherings'. Yikes! Her grandmother is also often passive aggressively commenting that she herself 'stayed tiny' during pregnancy, which is making the mum-to-be feel even more shamed about her size. On top of all this, at a recent family gathering, the prospective great grandmother even took it upon herself to comment on her granddaughter's weight gain - which did not go down well, as you can imagine. This can be upsetting enough when you're not pregnant, let alone when you are tired, hormonal, hungry, aching, the works!

After grandma tried to touch her mum, the poster put her foot down, much to the disapproval of the family. Read the post below...


Read the full post here - credit to Reddit.

What was the general consensus?

The overwhelming majority of readers voted the poster to be absolutely NOT the asshole - NTA - here. We can definitely agree that she's not in the wrong. It would be bad enough without it being a relative who makes you feel horrendous about your body shape at the best of times, right? Ultimately, it's her body, and no one has the right to touch your body without your permission. A baby bump is not an invitation to be pawed at. The top rated comment mirrored our sentiments and even took it one step further...

"NTA. Your body your rules, no one was touching the balls on your boyfriend, saying nice job or did they?"

Our verdict...

Well... that's true, right? No one cups daddy's genitalia and congratulates them on a job well done, or even touches dad at all. So, why should mum feel obliged to tolerate this? The reaction of the family is also problematic at best, toxic at worst. Enabling fat shaming and touching without permission is worrying and needs to be addressed. We can understand the excitement that a family has when a baby is due, and some people may want to express this by stroking, touching and holding a bump to express this but time and social progression means that in 2022, you should always ask for permission.

Other articles to read...

Here for you...
From trying to conceive to the preschool years and beyond, we’re right here with you.