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The news of a new baby in the family is an exciting time. Many family members cannot wait to meet the newborn baby straight away, which is usually met by the new parents putting boundaries in place.
One woman took to Reddits AITA (Am I The Asshole?) board after her sister decided to make the family wait a few days after the birth of her first baby before she would allow family to visit.
Read the full post here:
"My sister had a baby this week and my family has been so excited in preparation of her arrival over the last 9 months. We are a very close family so my parents have been thrilled to have their first grandchild. We have done everything to help them prepare (threw baby showers, bought all the baby clothes, organized and decorated her nursery, meal prepped meals for them, etc) and have been a big part of the entire pregnancy. I only mention this to give context to the closeness of our family - not because this entitles us to anything at all.
Back in April, my sister had mentioned casually that my parents and I might not be invited to meet the baby at the hospital due to her and her husband wanting to be alone and “in the moment”, but she said “we’ll see” and “maybe I’ll change my mind” so my parents and I got our hopes up that maybe she would change her mind.
The baby was born via c-section on Wednesday, and my sister doesn’t mention anything about us being allowed to visit. She FaceTimes me only when her husband leaves the room and she’s alone, and never calls my parents. Friday comes around and she lets us know we aren’t allowed to come meet the baby until Sunday. She says her and her husband don’t want us there and that they need to figure out everything on their own before we meet the baby.
Am I the asshole for having hurt feelings that we aren’t allowed to visit the first grandchild of the family within the first 5 days of her life? Is it weird that my sister doesn’t want her family around for help or comfort after abdominal surgery? What would you do if you were me?"
Read the full Reddit thread here
What was the general consensus?
The poster was voted YTA (You're The Asshole). The top comment said:
"YTA
Your sister just had major surgery and all you and your parents are thinking about his me me me. It's not your child. You've done nothing in this situation. It's not about you.
If i were you, I'd have enough common sense to realize this."
While another agreed and said:
"YTA, she's not preventing anyone from seeing the baby, only asking that you wait a couple of days. And she did warn you that this would happen, so you hoping she would change her mind is your own fault.
She's just gone through a major body change, hormones, pain, might be overwhelmed, but also wants to stay in a little bubble for a minute. And that's if everything went perfectly, let alone if there was any trauma or complications.
You supporting her right now is doing as she asked. Though you love the baby, it's not about you right now."
Our Verdict...
Obviously when there is a new baby in the family, everyone is excited and eager to meet the new arrival. But it's not so much about the baby, it's about the new Mum who has just went through a c-section, who is recovering while also learning to be a Mum to her first baby. It's a time for new parents to bond with their baby while also recovering from the birth itself. It's a common problem unfortunately, with family members feeling entitled or not respecting the boundaries the new parents have put in place. We think the family should relax a bit and the parents will allow them over when they are feeling up to it.
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