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Family tend to help out with childcare from time to time to help around work schedules etc. But would you let your sister move in with three of her own children that you would be expected to watch, as well as looking after your own?
One Mum of three took to Reddit's AITA (Am I The Asshole?) board after her sister called her out for not letting her move in. Despite the fact the poster has triplets and lives with a disability, she'd also be expected to take care of her sisters triplets too.
Read the full thread below...
"Im 33F UK, I have triplet daughters around 3 months old, Ive been Incontinent for pretty much the best part of 20 years, Ive had mobility issues for the same amount of time, meaning ive been using crutches or walkers for at least the last 15 years, and a wheelchair on bad days. Since being pregnant ive been 95% in a wheelchair, but im working on my mobility as and when i can its just slow and hard. I am currently on maternity leave and will be for the forseeable, Im also debating IF i need to go back to work full time once that is done, The money would be nice but its not essential for us as my husband has a well paying job and is happy and capable of supporting us, most of my wage would be being absorbed by childcare anyway esspecilly until they where able to start school. My youngest sister who is a single mum, she works shifts and also has triplets they are 4 1/2 years old and have just started going for "full days" in school. This has caused her a number of childcare issues as either she is there in the morning to send them to school or In the Afternoon when they get back not both and on weekends etc. she relies heavily on our mum to cover the gaps within her budget which is quite tight.
Our mum is having to sell our old family home, My husband and I have put in an offer on the house at near market value this would be well suited for us. (My mums house is near by, and already has many adaptations for my needs (only 2-3 rooms i would struggle to access easily on the top floor) and would give us plenty of space for with a few spare rooms after some minor remodeling which we plan to do. We are also agreeing to let the small annex to my mother at a reasonable rate, (it is self contained and ideal for one or two people max). My other siblings are in turn offering to buy MY old house for near market rate. My youngest sister is now accusing us all of snubbing her in this "Swap-a-thon", since i never "offered" her my old house. She is now asking that we let the top floor to her and her triplets for a rate comparable to what we have offered the annex for since "you cant use it anyway, and itll just be going to waste". and that i could also watch her triplets when shes on evening and weekend shifts easily and cheaply.
i flatly refused to let the space to her, i think there is a huge difference between letting the annex (which has completly seperate access) and the top floor of our house, making the kitchen etc a Shared space which i just dont want to do in my own home. i also think that the space and imposition of what she is asking for is worth far more then what she is willing to pay, and its hard enough work taking care of 3 infants and my own disabilitys without adding more kids to the mix. Ive been accused of being a greedy, selfish and entitled AH for refusing outright to do this knowing how much it would help her.
So AITA for refusing?"
Read the full Reddit thread here
What was the general consensus?
The poster was voted NTA (Not The Asshole.) One of the top comments said:
"NTA. You're right, this isn't comparable at all. She's looking for a place to stay and free childcare all in one.
You are already committed to your three new babies plus your own well being. Keep to your answer of no."
While another said:
"NTA. Why would she be included when she can't afford to buy anything? She wants a low cost living situation with free babysitting. You both have triplets and yours are completely dependent on you. Sounds like a nightmare having all of you using one kitchen and common areas especially with your mobility issues. Tell her she is the one being greedy and demanding as she insists on taking space in a home you are buying. That is not up to her. It is not your job to support your sister. She had triplets and should be going after the father for child support. Honestly, her attitude tells you everything you should know. She will be a terrible housemate and she will have three young children which you will be watching in addition to your own. I would not be surprised if she expects you to cook for them too because "you don't work.""
Our Verdict...
While we can only imagine how hard it can be to be a single, working mother to triplets, we think the posters sister is asking way too much of her. To live with a disability is hard enough, but to have your own triplets to look after too is a lot of work. Nevermind factoring in three additional children which are not your own. Yes families help each other out when they can, but six kids under one roof 24/7 - we can't blame the poster for saying no!
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